'Renegade Parenting:' Heather Shumaker On Developmental Advantages

Heather Schumaker, author of "It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids," believes teaching kids to conform to conventions, whether at home or at school, would be counterproductive to their behavioral and emotional growth. Instead, she advises parents to adopt "renegade parenting."

In her new book "It's OK to Go Up the Slide," which retails on Amazon for $11 on paperback, Shumaker tells parents about the benefits of free play. Children shouldn't be forced to share their toys or participate in circle time if they don't want to.

Shumaker told AJC that parenting styles mirror our ever-changing society. It would be counterproductive for parents to force-feed their children with conventions from generations past. A popular example of this is when a child gets scolded for choosing not to play in a group. The child is often called a rebel or a recluse. The labeling, coupled with other forms of castigation, will have adverse effects on the child later on.

Another instance is when parents take away their child's toy to teach them a lesson about sharing. The motive may be to encourage generosity, but what ends up happening is that it would delay the child's interest to share.

Shumaker pointed out that children should be left to do what they want, so long as they don't disturb others. Parents should let their kids play with a toy until they get tired of it. They would soon realize that the right thing to do is to hand it over to others.

In her previous book "It's OK Not to Share," Shumaker listed 29 rules that utterly go against the parenting norms. Some of the rules, which she shared on Huff Post Parents, include letting kids swear under the right limitations. This is in addition to letting them say "I hate you," encouraging them to take action rather than using the magic word "sorry" and last but not the least, telling them it's okay not to share.