Tips for Dealing with Teenagers with Borderline Personality Disorder

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Parenting can be stressful but it's nothing compared to dealing with teens. Throughout their teenage life, the child is going through various hormonal changes that will trigger moods and behaviors. Irritation, anger, mood swings, and sadness are normal with teenagers, but how do you know when something is serious beyond normal? A borderline personality disorder is a mental condition that exaggerates these feelings. It is more than frustration and stress. It causes severe mood swings and an inability to coordinate.

 As a parent, you have the responsibility to support your child and know what to do. The condition causes the person to lose their self-identity such that they lash out in frustration or anger and the consequences are devastating. Most people with BPD are volatile and have problems relating with their families, friends, co-workers, and partners. So, think of ways you can help them. Families with disabled adults take them to disability group homes for interaction and collaborative care and it can be a great idea to check if there are support group homes for such teenagers with such disorders. However, you must know how to deal with your kid first before taking them to support home. The following are tips for parents dealing with teenagers with BPD.

1. Focus on Emotions

A teenager with BPD mostly acts out of frustration, or any emotion they may be feeling at the moment. As a parent, avoid explaining to them the consequences of their actions and try focusing on their emotions. Your kid will require a lot of support from you. So, make sure you are there for them emotionally. The kid will realize the logic in their behavior once they realize their parent is there for them, understands them, and sympathizes with them. 

2. Consider Passive Parenting

Normal parenting involves consoling your child through sweet words. However, for a child with BPD, you need to use passive parenting. This involves leaving your kid to make the right decision instead of deciding for them. Listen to them and ask them what they are going to do about the problem. Avoid giving direct answers and leave the kid to draw them out. 

3. Don't Control Them

Teenagers with BPD are not trying to be controlling. Instead, they get frustrated with how out-of-control they feel. The aim of their behavior is not to be in charge but to get the other person to feel how they feel about the situation. So, as the parent, try not to be in control. Show the kid that you understand what they are going through. Then, give them time to look for solutions. 

4. Show them Love and Attention

In most cases, a teenager with BPD will have an intense fear of being abandoned. They feel that the people around them, including their parents, might abandon them both physically and emotionally because of their behavior. This kid wants love from their parent. They want to feel that deep attachment that will act as their foundation whenever they have different kinds of fear. Your love for them will make them feel safe and their exaggerated emotions can subdue. Ask your kid if they feel any kind of love from you. The unconditional love and attachment will act as a fort when the child is facing these emotions. 

5. Take Suicidal Threats Seriously  

If your child has attempted or threatened to commit suicide, this is the first sign that they have a borderline personality disorder. Most of the attempts and idealizations start as early as 12 years. So, make sure you treat every attempt or idealization seriously and involve a professional.

6. Beware of Early Addictions

Any addictive behavior that starts during the beginning of teenage can turn out to be a problem for their entire life. It could be video games, alcohol, sex, food, phone, illegal drugs, and more. So, as early as you notice it, try helping and involve professionals to deal with it. 

The Bottom Line

As a parent with a child suffering from BPD, it is vital to know how to approach them. The above are simple tips for dealing with teenagers with this disorder. It will prevent its escalation and help the child feel safer.

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