How To Raise Resilient And Strong Kids Who Can Deal Effectively Through Tough Times

By Ellainie Calangian, Parent Herald February 23, 05:20 am

Adults experience serious responsibilities that can be sometimes tough and stressful. This does not spare children as they also face challenges in life. These include school tests, school bullies, environment changes, peer pressures and even family problems. To make them strong in facing these difficulties, they need to be resilient.

Being resilient means you are able to withstand the tough situations and difficult times. Resilience can be taught to your children. They must learn how to handle situations by themselves and to be problem-solvers. With that, Psych Central shared the following ways on how to raise resilient children:

1.       Don't provide every need.

Parents like you must not give all the comfort to your children. "Whenever we try to provide certainty and comfort, we are getting in the way of children being able to develop their own problem-solving and mastery," Lynn Lyons, LICSW, a psychotherapist who major in healing anxious families.

2.       Teach your kids to be problem-solvers.

Involve your kids on how they can handle the situations, challenges and problems. For example, your kid will have a school camping but he is anxious to go because he is nervous that he would be away from home overnight. Teach you kid on how he would overcome his homesickness and don't tell him he should not go.

3.       Let your children commit mistakes.

Kids would learn when they commit mistakes and would make it better next time. "Failure is not the end of the world. It's the place you get to when you figure out what to do next," Lyons said.

4.       Let your children know what you really love about them.

According to Kidspot, to boost resilience to your kids, let them know what you really love about them or what you are proud of them. When they feel accepted, they would likely be resilient. 

5.       Don't help your children if you know they can do it.

If you want your children to learn and be a problem-solver start using the phrase "I don't know," or "I cannot do it for you." These phrases can make your children think of ways on how to get the answers to their questions and would know how to deal with the challenges.

6.       Avoid talking or discussing tragic or disastrous terms or situations.

Most of the protective or anxious parents tend to talk about catastrophic terms. This can scare your children and would not try any adventurous and healthy activities for them.

7.       Avoid "why" questions instead ask "how" questions.

If you ask your children questions like: "Why you did that?" or "Why you left your bike outside?" -- they would just give you careless answers such as "I'm a boy!" and "I like it." It is advisable that you ask them "how" questions, which would make them think and act upon it. You may say "How would you fix that?" Try this trick and expect wonders.

8.       Help them handle and control their emotions.

Teach your children that it is ok to feel sad or angry at times as they are not happy at all times. Let them manage their feelings and attitudes even though they did not get what they want.

9.       Be a role model of resiliency.

You are teaching your children to be resilient, but they see that you cannot handle tough challenges and cannot solve your problems. The key to making them resilient is to be a model resiliency.

Resiliency can help your children thrive the challenges in life. Later in life, they would become resilient adults who can triumph and be successful in life and all their endeavors.

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