How to Respond when Your Child is Bullied

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Whether it's on social media or in school or outside your home, bullying is one of the most commonly faced societal problems for children and teenagers. As parents, when we hear issues that involve bullying, you would always think about your children. Hearing stories that your child is being bullied can be hard to take, and for parents, it crushes their world too.

It is difficult not to be and feel emotional if you know your child is being bullied. Most of the time, you would want to call up your child's bully's parents and confront them or post a rant on social media. But even doing that, it's not going to make the situation better, but it will only make it worse for you, your child, and the other party.

If your child is being bullied, you need to calm yourself as well. Again, it's not going to be easy for you as a parent to take and accept the fact that your child is being bullied, but you need to be mature in handling the issue. Respond to your child calmly and let them speak. Never invalidate their feelings and just be an open ear to them. There are other ways that you can help your child in their situation instead of getting mad or frustrated at the bully. 

Parents should also keep in mind that children are not open at telling their parents and family that they are being bullied because for them it is embarrassing, shaming, and confusing. It is also important for parents to know that their response to their children when they tell them they are experiencing bullying impacts their child as well. In fact, according to a study conducted in 2014, researchers have discovered that a parent's response can be a huge impact on their child's recovery from the issue.

This will highly affect how they can cope up with the bullying that has been happening to them. Always be open and ready to listen to whatever they will say to you. Avoid asking questions that will make them feel you are criticizing them, such as "what did you do for them to bully you?" This will only make your child think that they are responsible for the bullying that is happening to them, and will end up blaming themselves for it. 

If you don't know how to handle bullying situations that your child is going through, here are some tips that you can use as a response.

• Tell them you know how much courage they must have had to tell you their situation. 

As growing kids, they have already realized the power of not telling anyone especially their parents that they have problems. Children tend to worry if they report the bullying issue to their parents or teachers in school, it will only make the situation worse. To some children, they are more afraid of what their parents are going to say. Let them know that it was a brave act that they told you about their situation and acknowledge how hard it must have been for them to come to you. 

• Tell them it's not their fault.

Children tend to have thoughts in their heads and might think that they are bullied for something they did. As a parent, let your child realize that it is not their fault. Bullying is a choice that the bully makes and the responsibility for the bullying is with the bullies and not the victims. It is also helpful to tell your child that they are not alone in this battle and that you have their back.

• Ask them how they want you to handle the situation.

One reason also why children tend to hide the bullying issue to their parents is that they are afraid of how their parents will handle the situation and worry that it might make things worse. With this, ask your child how they want you to handle the situation and let them know that they should trust you. Although it's not a good idea to take over and fix things for your kids, you can help them go through other options on how to deal with the situation instead.