Toxic Parenting: 3 Things Moms or Dads Must Never Say or Do Their Kids

While no parent is perfect, some moms or dads may have an unhealthy parenting style that experts might call toxic parenting. In the U.S. nine in every 1,000 children experience this form of psychological abuse that can have irreparable trauma.

Everyone may have had some experience with a toxic relationship but the damage and impact could be deeper if the source of the toxicity are the parents. Psychologist Dr. Chivonna Childs said that the one common trait of a toxic person is they are "more self-centered" than "other-centered."

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Here are three of the most damaging things that toxic parents can say or do their kids:

1. Insulting their intelligence and name-calling

Parents who insult and belittle their children's intelligence or capacity to learn and label their kids as "dumb" "stupid," or "slow" can greatly impact the bond they have with their kids. Every child learns at their own pace and develops their abilities differently. If they struggle with one aspect of learning, it's the parents' job to help them out and not belittle their efforts.

Moms and dads who tag their kids with labels might also be seen as a bully than loving parents. This form of verbal abuse has a long-lasting impact that some kids will harbor as adults. According to Psychology Today, insults and labels could also change a child's developing brain, especially the corpus callosum that responds to hostile situations.

2. Criticizing a child's appearance

Calling a child fat or small, or commenting on their bad hair or skin, could draw out feelings of humiliation and insecurity in children. There is scientific evidence that shows criticisms to physical appearances could trigger eating disorders. In one study, 75 percent of the women who have eating disorders said that they developed harmful diets due to the criticisms they've absorbed from their parents for years.

Amy Slater of the Centre for Appearance Research said that children are heavily influenced by their parents' perceptions. Thus, it's very important for moms and dads to be careful about negative body talk in front of the kids. It might seem harmless on the surface to comment on a child's appearance but kids could easily translate these messages into negative thoughts about themselves.

3. Comparing one child to another

Some parents are prone to compare a child to their siblings, cousins, or other children. What toxic parents don't realize is that this behavior can easily erode a person's self-confidence. Children who are often compared to others will always feel that they are never good enough or whatever they do will not amount to anything good in their parents' eyes. It can also be a breeding ground for resentment and envy that will fill the child's heart with toxicity even in old age.

Though sibling rivalry is a reality in every family, parents should never be the instigator of the comparisons. Toxic parents like to make comparisons thinking that it will motivate the child to become better but, in most cases, the opposite happens because their parents keep reminding them of their inadequacy.

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