Child Psychologist Lists Tell-tale Signs of Overparenting: What Actions Should be Avoided by Parents?

Overparenting parents Judith Locke Extreme Responsiveness

By Joel Brussels , Parent Herald May 14, 07:31 pm

Photo: (Photo : EVA MARIE UZCATEGUI/AFP via Getty Images)

It is easy for parents to succumb to the temptation of "overparenting" with mom and dad putting greater emphasis on the importance of childhood experiences for their kids. One expert explains why overparenting should be avoided and how parents can spot the tell-tale signs that they are doing it themselves.

Clinical psychologist Judith Locke explained to CNBC on a video call that overparenting can be defined in two ways. The first interpretation of this is that parents end up over-assisting their child with tasks, such as their homework, doing so with good intentions. This can have a negative effect, though, with the kid possibly struggling to develop essential skills.

The other definition of overparenting according to Locke are those parents who are extremely responsive. Locke said that responsiveness refers to the level of care, affection, love, and praise a parent gives to his or her child.

Parents should avoid extreme responsiveness

Locke explained that extreme responsiveness by a parent is not just having a good relationship with the kid through special quality time and things like that. Locke said that describing your child as your best friend, praising the kid so much that they do not get used to any constructive criticism is a negative aspect of extreme responsiveness as children who experience this type of parenting need that regular reassurance of praise.

Very Well Family describes overparenting as parents' attempts to micromanage their child's life. They said that it usually stems from a parent's desire to manage their own discomfort, as they cannot tolerate watching their own kid get hurt, make a mistake, or fail.

Locke said that overparenting looks like the most loving, caring parenting ever but in reality, it is actually quite "performative." Locke mentioned other signs that show a parent was over-responsive to their kid's every need in an effort to make them a happy child all the time.

One example of which is parents not giving their children space to be bored over the school holidays. They try instead to fill all their kids' free time with activities. Another example of extreme responsiveness according to Locke is believing everything a kid says. Locke urged parents not to get too hung up on the lies their children say.

Lying can be good for kids

According to Locke, lying can be a good thing for them as it actually helps a child develop his skill of resourcefulness. Locke pointed out as well that believing everything a child says could become problematic at school as parents believe their child over the teacher all the time.

Another aspect of overparenting is parents putting too much emphasis on their child developing a high level of self-esteem. Parents expect their kids to be popular as they catastrophize the shyness trait.

A study that was co-authored by Locke back in 2012 surveyed 128 parenting professionals with sense of entitlement, inadequate development of life skills, transference of high parental anxiety, and a lack of resilience among the effects of overparenting observed in kids by the respondents to the survey.