Where To Run When Infertility Is Straining One's Relationship

Kindred Beginnings infertility Infertility Community

By Jo Anne Hubert , Parent Herald Sep 10, 08:11 am

Infertility can leave couples with feelings of isolation, causing each partner to try to cope in different ways. These then can build tension and stress, which can seriously fracture the loving relationship between the two.

Research on the number of people that have infertility in America by the National Survey of Family Growth showed that one out of eight couples faces the lonely and challenging journey of infertility. Yet, these couples need not be alone in this journey. They can seek help, support, and encouragement from infertility support groups and communities, who are willing to guide them through and be with them in every step.

Lynn Polin knows this to be true. She and her husband were that one couple out of eight. They have experience infertility firsthand having ten rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF) for six long years. Currently, they are a happy family of four with two beautiful daughters, one of which came with the help of a surrogate.

She said that having someone to talk to is crucial in the journey. She was able to find and connect with a National Infertility Association support group. It was a beautiful and helpful experience, and because of this, she created her own support group for couples going through the same challenges of infertility.

Kindred Beginning

Polin can still vividly recall how something in her shifted that she strongly desired and eventually was able to build a community, which she named "Kindred Beginnings."

Kindred Beginnings is a family-building support group whose main mission is to reach out to couples going through infertility and make sure that their relationship is strengthened as they are being helped to overcome the challenges.

"Our stories are all different but they're all big and they're all valid. At the end of the day, we can connect with the feelings that are around it - the hardness of it; the challenges; the difficult decisions that need to be made. I wanted to turn my pain into purpose and to support other people who were in the journey, because it's hard and it doesn't need to be so hard," the proud founder and creator of Kindred Beginnings shared.

Polin knows that if couples surround themselves with a community, "amazing things" can happen, so she wants to be that community for them, along with her husband.

Her husband, Drew, can testify how his wife's experiences get to inspire and help others. He said that every day she gets to walk, she impacts somebody's life or a couple's relationship.

Warning: Family building 'can consume you'

Couples, individually and together, get to share their highs and lows in their infertility journey during their group sessions in Kindred Beginnings.

One of their attendees is Erin Epstein. She shared with Today that she decided to join the community because she feared that infertility would take over everything fully.

She then warns other couples honestly that family building can consume the relationship, marriage, and each other.

Briana and Bill Helgestad are one of the couples who also joined the community. They have been trying to build their family for six years. They said that the therapy helped them in navigating infertility together, but most importantly, they learned to understand that each of them can grieve in different ways.