Middle Child Syndrome: How Middle Children Feel Excluded and Ignored Due to Birth Order?

Middle Child Syndrome Middle Child Alfred Adler self-esteem Resilience

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Sep 22, 08:40 am

Middle child syndrome is the belief that middle children are excluded and neglected due to birth order, according to Healthline. Some kids may have particular personality and relationship characteristics due to being the middle child, says the lore.

Alfred Adler, an Austrian physician and psychiatrist, developed a theory in 1964 entitled The Relationship of Birth Order and Gender with Academic Standing and Substance Use Among Youth in Latin America and claimed that despite children being born into the same household, birth order highly influences their psychological development.

The oldest child appears to be more authoritarian due to the parents' high expectations. The youngest child is the spoiled one, while the middle child has difficulty fitting in due to being sandwiched between the older and younger siblings.

Middle children sometimes resent all the parental attention given to the oldest and the younger sibling and only feel short-shifted. As a result, they usually seek more time and resources from their parents than their older siblings. Eventually, such behavior changes and they become needy as they grow older.

What are the characteristics of middle children?

The older sibling appears to be strong-willed, while the younger sibling serves as the baby. As a result, the middle child's personality is somewhere in between as their other siblings overshadow them. Most of the time, their personality may be dulled down by other siblings, making them timid and quiet.

Many middle children have experienced trouble feeling equal to their siblings in a parental relationship. The older sibling usually holds more responsibilities, while the younger sibling is well cared for by the parents. As an outcome, the middle child feels they are not given enough attention.

The middle child often needs to compete with the younger and older sibling for parental attention. As the middle child feels excluded, they would make a way for the parents to pay attention to them even if it looks like a sibling rivalry. However, since they find themselves usually in the middle of everything, they may also serve as peacemakers.

Furthermore, the favorite spot would always be either the oldest or the youngest child. Generally, middle children do not feel they are the favorite due to birth order and unequal treatment. They fall somewhere in between and think they will never be their parent's favorite.

They crave almost everything, especially the family spotlight, and try harder to be heard or get noticed, per Today.

How does middle child syndrome affect the middle child?

Sadly, due to unequal treatment middle children usually feel, they tend to do things that would catch their parent's attention even if it can be a bad thing as they feel left out.

According to research entitled "Association of Birth Order With Mental Health Problems, Self-Esteem, Resilience, and Happiness Among Children: Results From A-CHILD Study," first-borns tend to have higher self-esteem while middle-borns have substantially lower self-esteem than first-borns and last-borns.

Parents reported raising middle children with less attention as there are other children in their lives. Middle children became people-pleasers due to the lack of attention they get from their parents compared to older and younger siblings.