Marie Kondo Chooses Chaos of Motherhood Over Being Queen of Tidy

The queen of tidy is taking off her crown and replacing it with the hat of motherhood, which she thinks suits her better.

Mari Kondo is the woman behind the KonMari Method, a simple and minimalistic yet effective tidying approach that ensures no relapse to clutter. It utilizes the unique and now very famous selection criterion of keeping stuff that only "sparks joy" and eliminating what does not. As Kondo described, it is not about choosing what to get rid of but choosing to keep only the things that "speak to your heart."

At this point in her life, however, now that she is already a mother of three, things and tidiness are not what spark joy anymore.

"Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times. I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home. My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life," Kondo admitted in a virtual tea ceremony and webinar, according to The Washington Post.

From decluttering things to decluttering life

The significant shift in her life and mindset happened with the arrival of her son in 2021.

Kondo, who currently lives in California with her family, shared that her way of life and focus have shifted from tidying and organization to finding and appreciating the simple ways that bring happiness to everyday life. From decluttering things, she is now focused on decluttering life and ensuring that what remains are those that matter the most.

The author of the no. 1 New York Times bestselling book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" further said that she no longer pressures herself always to keep her house clean and in order. Instead, she would work with her husband in planning their days to maximize their time with the kids and the family while still getting important tasks done.

In her recent interview, she emphasized that her cleaning philosophy, which is partly based on a Japanese belief called Shintoism, states that keeping a tidy home is only part of the practice and not the end-all and be-all of it, though she previously stated that life could only truly begin when the house is in order.

Her "kurashi" or way of life right now, is to "spark joy every day and lead a joyful life," as quoted by NPR. More than cleaning, her ultimate goal is making time for the people and things that make her happy.

Read also: Decluttering Kids' Toys: Best Ways To Purge Children's Stuff Without Causing Meltdowns

From what sparks joy to sparking a debate

Kondo's admission created a lot of noise, as some said that her pivot was a betrayal. Her admission has gone viral on social media, and people are torn between being happy for her and being happy to redeem and "vindicate" themselves.

According to Tracy Moore of The Washington Post, acknowledging that it is chaotic when one has three kids would not be a big deal these days. However, hearing it from someone who "dared" to instruct and correct people on how to tidy up and evaluate one's stuff, whether it sparked joy or not, is a different thing.

She described Kondo as a "tempest in a Twitterpot" these days as people were saying that Kondo needs to make an official public apology to those parents and adults who got so much pressure on tidying up their home despite the toddlers around.

Some comments said they could relate to Kondo's current stage of life. Others also noted that her admission relieved them and made them feel better about themselves.

Moore believes that Kondo's admission was not a betrayal at all. It was just that her values shifted.

Related Article: Spring Cleaning: How to Extensively Clean a Closet