Toddler Tantrums: How To Deal with Kid's Tempers

behavior children tantrums

By Jackelyn Cornejo , Parent Herald Jan 27, 10:47 am

Recognizing that tantrums are a form of communication and not an intentional act of defiance is crucial.

Responses of the parents should focus on managing and understanding the child's emotions rather than taking the tantrum personally.Moreover, employing consistent discipline, encouraging positive behavior, and staying calm during tantrums contribute to effective parenting strategies.

Understanding Toddler Tantrums

The National Library of Medicine defines tantrums as emotional expressions triggered by unmet wants or needs, encompassing behaviors like screaming, kicking, hitting, flailing, and biting.

A clinical psychologist, Dr. Ray Levy, emphasizes that meltdowns are a normal part of childhood, especially for young kids between the ages of 1 and 4 who haven't yet developed effective coping skills.

Parents should recognize that tantrums are a natural part of a child's development and not indicative of inadequate parenting.

Clinical psychologist Linda Rubinowitz underscores that tantrums aid children in learning to manage their negative emotions.

Understanding tantrums' causes and developmental stages will help parents navigate these challenging moments.

How To Deal with Tantrums

To reduce tantrums, parents can embrace preventive measures such as modeling positive behavior, helping children understand their emotions, identifying and avoiding triggers, and lastly maintaining a consistent routine.

When faced with a tantrum, experts advise against ineffective tactics like yelling, spanking, or giving in to the child's demands. Instead, parents should remain calm, provide clear commands, and distract the child's attention to diffuse the situation. Parents can also pick their battles wisely, use brief commands, distract the child with alternative activities, and provide physical comfort through hugs.

If such behavior proves effective in achieving the child's desires or avoiding unwanted situations, it becomes a learned response.

As children develop self-regulation skills, tantrums typically decrease. However, if tantrums persist and escalate, seeking professional advice may be necessary.

Understanding the reasons behind tantrums, implementing preventive measures, and responding calmly contribute to a healthier parent-child relationship during these challenging moments.

While tantrums are not necessarily intentional, they are a learned behavior, and the goal is to help the child unlearn this response.

Conducting a functional assessment to identify specific triggers for tantrums is crucial. By understanding the situations that lead to meltdowns, parents can work towards modifying or eliminating triggers.

Sometimes, a closer examination may reveal underlying issues such as trauma, abuse, anxiety, ADHD, or learning disorders contributing to persistent meltdowns.

The functional assessment aims to determine if tantrum triggers can be mitigated or if parental handling of certain situations can be adjusted to defuse potential outbursts.

Anticipating and modifying triggers, providing warnings, structuring activities, and setting developmentally appropriate expectations are key strategies.

It is essential to acknowledge that avoiding tantrums does not equate to giving in to a child's demands. Instead, it involves separating tantrum responses from other issues and reducing opportunities for reinforcement of such behavior.

In responding to tantrums, the parent's reaction significantly influences the likelihood of the behavior recurring.

Various protocols, such as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, Parent-Child Interaction Therapy, and Parent Management Training, advise consistent responses that minimize tantrum behavior.

The emphasis is on ignoring the behavior, withholding parental attention, and positively reinforcing compliant and appropriate responses to frustration.

Modeling calm behavior, teaching negotiation skills, and building a toolkit for self-soothing are essential aspects of effectively managing tantrums.