Can 'Unintentional Parent Abuse' Be Prevented?

According to emergency room physicians, pediatricians and other childcare experts, unintentional parent abuse, or U.T.A., is no laughing matter the New York Times reports.

The sudden bites, jabs, kicks, pokes and punches of infants and toddlers led to 31-year old mother Alaina Webster to coin the term "unintentional parent abuse," after her 2-year old daughter hit her in the eye and left a black bruise. In her blog "Absolute Uncertainties," Webster wrote a humorous "public service announcement" calling for battered parents to rise up and prevent the "abuse" from their children.

"Will you fight back against the 2-foot 6-inch tyrants taking over our subdivisions, or will you continue to let unsuspecting parents be beaten into submission simply for loving their child too closely?," she wrote.

Despite statistics for injuries caused by young children being low and difficult to find, "parents routinely suffer concussions, chipped teeth, corneal abrasions, nasal fractures, cut lips and torn earlobes, among other injuries," and Dr. Benjamin Hoffman, medical director of the Tom Sargent Children's Safety Center at Doernbecher Children's Hospital in Portland, Ore., weighed in on this issue.

"You're dealing with wonderful human beings who can't be reasoned with, who are impulsive, who are stronger and faster than you think they are, and don't understand consequences of their actions," Dr. Hoffman said.

"Even toddlers, who have great control but are not physically aware of their bodies - it's very easy for them to accidentally bonk their head into you," said Dr. Allison Brindle, a pediatrician at Cleveland Clinic Children's Hospital. She advised parents to remain vigilant of their children who had gained control of their heads and were prone to accidentally hitting their parents.

Another frequent parental malady is being poked in the eye, which can cause corneal abrasions or subconjunctival hemorrhages, also known as red eye.

"Kids can be very curious about glasses," said Dr. Ramona Sunderwirth, pediatric emergency medicine attendee at St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York, speaking from her own childhood experience of scratching her mother's cornea.

Dr. Jennifer Shu, author of "Heading Home With Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality," advises that parents carefully monitor their child's development, as they can "play defense" with their kids to help prevent injuries from occurring. "You can say, 'Don't poke Mommy in the eye,' but if they don't get it, you just know you are going to have to be a step ahead of them," she said. 

Dr. Shu also had suggestions on how to prevent injuries.

"Anything loose can be dangerous, such as necklaces, long hair, hoop earrings," she said. "Put your hair up, and rethink the jewelry selection. What you might not have thought dangerous can be dangerous in the hands of a toddler - something as innocuous as one of those stirrers in a coffee cup," 

Research also shows that sleep deprivation, which is common among parents of young kids, can diminish motor skills, putting parents at risk of getting hurt. "A well-rested parent will be more alert and more physically able to dodge the kick," said Debra S. Holtzman, author of "The Safe Baby: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Home Safety and Healthy Living,"

Dr. Hoffman also offered some advice to parents on how to react if they are accidentally injured by their children. "Somewhere between 18 months and 2, most kids will start to grasp the concept of consequences for their actions," he said, suggesting parents and caregivers use their child's age and developmental stage as judgement on whether or not to show or suppress pain. "Showing pain is for what purpose?" he said. "If you are trying to change behavior, yes. If it's a completely serendipitous accident, that might not be quite as great."

Child development experts recommend that parents try to overcome their fears of getting accidentally poked, kicked or slap in order to maintain important physical closeness with their children. Looking your child right in the eye and letting them see your face really helps with their verbal and their social and emotional development," Dr. Brindle said.  

"Being a good parent is taking one of the team," Dr. Hoffman said.