Mother Talks about Her Postnatal Depression and How She Wanted to Kill Herself and Her Daughter

Postnatal stress affects 15 percent of new mothers, including those who are usually happy, a mother shared to Daily Mail.

Sadness, despair, panic and anxiety are some of the most common symptoms of postnatal stress. One mother, Clover Stroud, shared her battles against the condition and said that there was one point in her life when she wanted to launch her daughter and herself "under the wheels of a passing bus" because she felt extremely hopeless and miserable.

At that instance, Stroud didn't realize that she was suffering from postnatal depression that started when her daughter, Evangeline was just two weeks old. Her depression lasted for six months. She explained that although she knew that she was 'supposed to be happy' - with her healthy baby, loving husband, interesting work as a freelance journalist and a gorgeous home - dark thoughts clouded her head and caused her anxiety.

Stroud would imagine what it would be like to be dead and even contemplated about killing her baby. She would visualize herself jumping out of the window or throwing herself and her baby off a bridge. She expressed her thoughts about the recent suicide of a 37 year old mother who went missing for two weeks until she was found dead by her fiancé. Reports said that the woman, Elizabeth Kinston committed suicide because she was suffering from postnatal depression.

Clover Stroud finally opened up about her thoughts when her daughter was four months old. The mother of three admitted to a close friend that she was 'losing her mind'. Her friend Virginia, 60, with a lifetime's experience in motherhood reminded her that becoming a mother can help her veer away from complicated childhood memories. She also underwent therapy, helping her become more aware of her thoughts and feelings. Now, she says: "childbirth and motherhood are a privilege, and I'm going to try to treat them with the reverence they deserve."