Change Your Parenting Style as Your Kids Grow, Expert Says
If parents could have their way, they would take control of their children's lives forever. They want them to make the right decisions, get into the right schools, meet the right people, have the right (i.e. similar to their own) values. But what parents need to know is in order to stay relevant in their children's lives, they need to relinquish some of that control they so greatly crave.
In October 2015, Yale University students were in an uproar over a statement made by Erika Christakis, an Associate Master at the school, regarding freedom of speech, as per Gawker. Olu Oyinlade, a Sociology Professor at the University of Nebraska at Omaha attributes the behavior of the students to being coddled by their parents their entire lives, in a report by KVNO News.
Alyson Schafer, a parenting expert, shares in a video on Huffington Post the two types of parenting styles mom and dad should adapt in order to be a bigger influence on their kids. During the early years, the parents' role is more of a teacher. This is when they can dictate pretty much everything their child needs to do: eat your vegetables, go to bed, pick up your socks. It's not hard to understand why parents find this stage of parenting much to their liking.
But when kids enter the tween stage, they're more interested in being heard than being told. If parents stick to the early style during these crucial years, they may end up alienating their kids.
This is the time for parents to step back and allow their child to do so they can develop critical reasoning. This is important because parents won't always be around to help no matter how much they want to.
When parents can learn to let their kids grow and just be an occasional guiding hand in their lives, they'll find their child will naturally live their own values.