How to Raise Confident Children: Experts Say, Let Them Experience Failure

Confident Children Dr. Roseanna Lesack self-esteem Children learn from failure

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Jul 25, 11:47 am

Instilling confidence in your children is essential. However, it requires excellent and healthy communication and honesty. As kids grow older, they will encounter difficult experiences. They will need skills that will help them learn and understand more about their strengths and weaknesses and how to overcome obstacles that they might experience, and they must sustain that confidence.

When children are confident, they can try new things, master new skills, and establish strong relationships. Confidence is mandatory for children's social and emotional development.

According to Dr. Roseanna Lesack, certified child psychologist and director of the Unicorn Children's Foundation Clinic at Nova Southeastern University in Florida, confident children tie their level of effort and work into their ability. Kids who understand that self-esteem has no bearing on their overall sense of self, per Fatherly.

Building real-self confidence

Real confidence is believing in yourself but being humble enough to ask for support when needed. Fake confidence is acting arrogantly, thinking you know everything and that you're better than others.

Dr. Lesack said that as soon as children are verbal and can express what they're good at, parents can immediately start working on their sense of confidence. To achieve confidence in kids, parents must have a healthy and consistent conversation with their kids.

Complimenting them and asking questions will gradually build their confidence. Parents must also teach kids to be honest regarding their strengths and shortcomings at an early age.

Teaching kids to be confident is not just all about shouting or telling them they're great until they have a healthy sense of self-esteem. It is about displaying confident behaviors, getting to the nuts and bolts of their strengths, and making success a product of communal efforts.

Dr. Lesack stressed parents need to show their kids that they have a healthy sense of confidence, and the best way to do this is through self-talk.

If a child begins to act arrogant, they will be bragging more often to hide their flaws as putting others down can make them feel better, per Kids Activities.

Helping your child to have self-esteem

When confidence is not tempered with humility, arrogance can be the possible result as too much pride sets in and negates every good quality the child possesses.

Parents must not be easily annoyed when kids commit mistakes; instead, they help kids see that everyone makes mistakes and it is normal. Teach them that it is important to learn from those mistakes and not dwell on them. Confident children don't let fear of failure get in their way as they know how to take setbacks in stride.

Children must learn not to give up out of frustration or bail out after one setback, as it is an important life skill. Having confidence is not just about succeeding at everything all the time but rather about being resilient enough to keep trying and not be distressed if they are not the best.

According to the Child Mind Institute, it's natural to protect your child from failure, but in reality, trial and error are how kids learn, and falling short on goals helps children to determine what is not fatal. Such can also spur kids to greater effort, serving them well as adults.

Instead of parents being afraid of kids' failures, help kids to explore and find their passion.