How Not to Raise Spoiled Children; Teaching Kids to Handle Disappointment and Responsibility

spoiled child Louis J. Lichtman A Practical Guide for Raising a Self-Directed and Caring Child American Academy of Pediatrics Dr. Karen Ruskin Amy McCready

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Jul 27, 10:18 am

One of the parents' jobs is to raise children to become ultimately kind and responsible citizens who will fulfill their unique potential as they contribute to the betterment of society. Thus, parents must ensure that kids would not grow spoiled as it is an essential component of parenting duties.

Raising children who are not spoiled allows parents to enjoy their kid's company and spend time together without having any conflict and just pure fun. Parents who want to hone their children to be grateful, patient, possess self-control, and generally pleasant individuals can take measures to guide and steer their kids to the right path.

According to Louis J. Lichtman, Ph.D., author of "A Practical Guide for Raising a Self-Directed and Caring Child," when parents have only a few hours a day to be with kids, they don't want to ruin the fun; that's why sometimes parents give in to indulging their kids, nearly buying all things they wanted to have which is understandable but should be corrected, per Parents.

The parent's job is to reinforce good behavior and not the bad ones

Even though there's nothing wrong with buying your child an occasional small toy during a supermarket run, you raise the risk of creating a spoiled brat if you do such things in response to their constant pleading. Good behavior must be reinforced and not bad ones.

In a Parents poll, 42 percent of readers admitted that their child is spoiled, while 80 percent think spoiling kids will affect them in the long term. Dr. Lichtman said that if this happens, parents do kids a terrible disservice if they go out into the world thinking it only revolves around them. If a child acts entitled, it is still not too late to reverse such behavior with the help of attitude-adjusting tactics.

American Academy of Pediatrics said that having a spoiled child results from parents' failure to enforce consistent and age-appropriate limits. A spoiled child is a derogatory term for children who behave in a self-centered and immature way. Many spoiled children are described as overindulged, selfish, and narcissistic.

Parents must encourage their children to think beyond themselves by volunteering together as a family and letting them witness what the real world is like by teaching them to clean up parks, feed hungry families, or help elderly neighbors, per Very Well Family.

Letting children feel disappointment and failure

Karen Ruskin, Psy.D., a family therapist in Sharon, Massachusetts, noted that helping a child accept that they won't get everything they want is an important life lesson.

Parents don't need to be remorseful about not being able to buy what their child wanted, but it is important to empathize with their disappointment as doing so shows that you respect the child's feelings but don't harp on the cause. Explain to your child that you understand their feelings, but it is not included in the budget.

According to Amy McCready, author of "If I Have to Tell You One More Time... The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling," kids have the right to be disappointed or upset when they don't get what they want, but parents shouldn't engage with them in a verbal back-and-forth as endless bickering is pointless.

Many experts believe that kids become spoiled when things come too easily for them, thus, encouraging kids to take those for granted. If a child wants a new toy, establish a reward system for good behavior and let the child earn it step by step, per Baby Center.