New Mama Apologizes for 'Cringey New-mom Mistakes'

Being a new mother can be overwhelming. Yet surprisingly, being a new mother can also make one think she is so much better than all the other mothers around.

Elizabeth Broadbent revealed in Todays Parents that her worst "new-mom" mistake was to ever think she was the best mom.

"My worst new-mom mistake? I thought I was the best mom. I thought I had found all the parenting answers. I thought they were one-size-fits-all answers. And I thought that if you disagreed, you were most likely on the way to irreparably damaging your bundle of joy," she recalled cringing.

Broadbent lists other "cringey" new-mom mistakes that she made.

1. Breastfeeding was the only way to feed. 

She thought breastmilk was the best, so she judged mothers whom she saw putting out bottles to feed their babies. She was so smug about it that every time she saw a bottle being whipped out, she gave a pitying look and would have the urge to breastfeed her son right then and there for everyone, especially the mother feeding her baby a bottle, to see.

Breastfeeding is the best, that was her motto, and since it was easy for her, she assumed it was the best and the only way for everyone. She believed then that these mothers who were not breastfeeding were not trying hard enough for their babies, that they ought to do lactation consultation, or try harder to make their baby latch more often, or look for a "hidden tongue-tie or lip tie." She judged them for robbing their babies of something so vital. She believed these mothers were hideous.

She had no clue then that many women were finding it hard to nurse, that she was fortunate yet was arrogantly proud. She was unaware that mothers have choices; if they choose to nurse their babies through bottles, it is perfectly okay because that works for them.

She is sorry.

2. Babywearing was the only way to go.

Broadbent loathed strollers. When she saw babies in strollers, she thought they were deprived of love, care, and human contact because their parents were too lazy, too touched-out, and too selfish to carry them.

Thinking back, she now sees what an awful person she was. She felt that she was much better than other mothers since she babywore her son from the hospital to home and everywhere else. She even started a babywearing group because she wanted to wear her son better and would want other mothers to know how to do it too.

She wasn't only a better mother but also thought she had a better baby since she wore him regularly. He could eat and sleep whenever he wanted, never bereft of his needs. She felt her son was stronger, faster, smarter, more loved, and more compassionate because he had a constant human touch, unlike the babies in the stroller.

Now she realized she was lucky to have a strong back and able body to do babywearing most of the time. She realized that strollers help parents and that they work. Using it doesn't mean the baby is unloved. It might be what's needed. It may be that the mother is differently abled and cannot babywear. It may be that babywearing does not work for them, and that is perfectly okay.

She is sorry.

Read Also: New Mom Nightmares: Meaning of Most Common Nightmares and Why It Happens

3. It worked for me, so it should work for everyone.

She thought she had all the answers. She felt the things that worked for her should work for everyone else. And those that weren't practicing what worked for her were doing the wrong things and were being lousy mothers.

She knew all too well that this "stereotype of babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment," perfect mother who gives other parents a pitying look for knowing her child will grow better and superior than others exists because that was all her.

She cringed when she recalled the kind of mother and person she was before. She cringed, and she apologized over and over again.

She is sincerely sorry for all those times she made a mother feel smaller, for all those moments she hurt a mother because of her smugness and "I-know-everything" sideway lectures. Most of all, for those times, she made it harder for a mother who was already having a hard time and needed empathy and a hug.

If she could turn back time, she would not change any of her parenting choices, but she would change the judgment she has thrown on other mamas. She now realizes that every mother's journey is unique. Thus, motherhood is done differently by everyone. There is no one right answer for it, and that is okay.

Related Article: 7 Parenting Mistakes Every Parent Should Stop Doing