Five Secrets To Raise Independent Children: Toughest Things About Letting Go

By Sammuel Larson, Parent Herald December 04, 04:40 am

Though it is tough to let go of kids now that they have grown up, parents must do sacrifices for their children to be ready to face the world. Every parent would feel the difficulty in striking a balance between what they want and what they need.

Let's take for example a mother who is watching her kid getting ready for school. Although she knows that her kid can dress herself, as a parent, she would be obviously worried as to what type of clothes she will be wearing and if it would be appropriate for her age.

As parents, it is default in their intuition to respond to the situation says Psychology Today. And more often than not, every parent would end up doing it for their kid to avoid facing yet another problem.

So in order to avoid problems like this, parents must teach their kids to be independent. But how? Here are the secrets.

First is to identify opportunities. Make a list of things that kids could be doing on their own. Ask them which duties they feels they're big enough to take on. This will likely increase theur willingness to try.

Next is providing a sufficient time. When kids are not being micromanaged, they may surprise parents with initiative. Parents will be calmer influence when they're not racing against the clock.

Third would be to forget perfection. Accept that kids won't do the task as well as parents can. If the milk spills, show them how to clean it up without criticism and assure them that it happens to everyone.

Next is to consider circumstances. If kids are tired, sick, stressed or adjusting to a change, it's not the time to introduce new responsibilities. Parent's should not be discouraged if kids regress beacuse this is normal. Temporarily sharing the load can help them bounce back more quickly than if you scold or criticize them says Empowering Parents.

The last and perhaps the most important one is to praise something that children do. Instead of pointing out that their shoes are on the wrong feet, say, "You put on your own shoes! Good job!" They'll discover the discomfort on their own. Give positive follow-up like, "I bet you'll get them on the right feet tomorrow."

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