Even as we become parents, taking care of an aging and ailing parent can be scary. You may have all the confidence in the world when it comes to caring for your child. However, the same cannot be said when it comes to caring for those who raised us, and it can be a tough road to navigate.
Figuring out what your parent needs, understanding the available options, and committing to a decision can be downright overwhelming. If there are times when you feel suffocated, know that you're not alone, and that there are steps that you can follow to help ease the process. Here are some of them:
Know What Your Parent Needs
Oftentimes, the uncertainty of caring for your parent stems from not having concrete ideas of what needs to be done. Don't rush into doing things without a plan. Take a pause and lay down all the problem areas that need to be addressed. Some of the critical things you need to take note of are home safety, medical needs, familial support, mobility, cognitive health, meal preparation, social hygiene, and social interaction.
Once you've listed these things, assess what your parent currently receives. Are they getting enough or not? Is there a need to provide more? For instance, if your parent is suffering from an ailment that needs long-term care, do they need hospice and palliative care services? If yes, list down all the requirements that they need and start from there.
Consider Your Own Needs
While you are listing the needs of your parents, you also have to factor in your own needs. While some people will expect us to fully take care of our parents, you have to consider your other responsibilities to family and your job. Never assume that you are obligated to do everything. Learn to delegate and ask for help when necessary. First, you have to ensure you are fit to take care of your parent, health-wise. Second, assess whether you have the time to visit them, or if they need to live with you. If you choose the latter, do you have enough space in your home to accommodate them? You have to consider several factors and make sure that you are not compromising your welfare in the process.
Involve Your Parent in the Process
Parents hate it when people decide things for them, especially if they have lived with full control of their decisions. It might be challenging, but you need to keep them involved in the process. Present the options that they have and allow them to decide along with you. Older people are concerned about losing their independence, so you have to give them a choice to make for their own future, so long as their situation isn't an emergency.
Factor in Finances
While both of you may have decided to have your parent in an assisted living setup, you cannot proceed with it if the finances don't allow it. The idea here is you wouldn't want to put your parent in a position where their health is compromised because you cannot afford to have them in a place where they can live out their remaining days. Budget together and come up with a financial plan that will suit your parent the best.