How to Deal with Dementia in a Parent: 12 Tips for Better Communication

Communicating with a dementia sufferer can be a challenge. Here are 12 practical tips on how to deal with dementia in a parent.

Did you know that worldwide 47.5 million people live with dementia? Living with dementia can cause so many challenges for families and caregivers. It's especially difficult to communicate with those we love who live with it.

In this article, you'll learn how to deal with dementia in a parent. Read on to discover 12 tips for better communication with your loved one. 

Show Empathy and Patience

It's important to understand that while it can be frustrating communicating and understanding them, it can be just as upsetting for them as well. Pay attention to how you say something to your loved one instead of just what you say. 

1. Get Their Attention

When speaking with them, try to avoid distractions such as the TV or radio. Make sure all distractions are turned off before beginning communication. If you need to close the curtains, shut the door, or take them to a quieter setting, do what's necessary. 

Before you speak with them, make sure you call them by their name and that you have their attention. Also, tell them your name and your relation to them. Gently touching their shoulder and non-verbal cues can help with keeping their attention. 

Would you like help with increasing the communication between you and your loved one? Find a certified coach today. 

2. Make Your Message Clear 

When speaking with someone who has dementia, make sure to use simple words and sentences. Always use a reassuring and slow tone. If they don't understand you the first time, make sure to use the same questions and wording again. 

If they still don't understand, then after a few minutes rephrase the question and message. Always use the name of people and places, and avoid using he, she, or they. While talking to them, smile and make contact.

Asking questions is fine, but don't have them feel like it's an interrogation. Keep your questions to a few since the goal is to encourage them by your visit.  

3. Remember the past 

While someone with dementia might not remember what happened an hour ago, their memories from the past can be strong. Avoid questions that are about short-term memory, and instead, ask about something from their past.

They're more likely to remember something that happened 25 years ago than 25 minutes. 

4. Use Your Sense of Humor 

Life doesn't have to be serious, you can still have a sense of humor with your loved one. Even if they have dementia, they can still retain social skills and have a good laugh with you. 

5. Redirect During Tough Times

If they become aggravated or upset, change the subject. They can often get confused and mix up what actually happened. Empathize with them, tell them you're sorry they feel upset and suggest going for a walk together. 

6. Offer Choices

If your loved one is being uncooperative and doesn't want to do something, say they don't want to take a shower, give them a choice. If they're getting upset and refusing to shower, ask them if they'd rather shower before or after dinner. 

7. Keep It Easy

When speaking with them, keep the sentences short. As dementia progresses, make sure the questions are more simple requiring only yes or no answers. 

8. Give Respect

Don't ever treat them as a child or pet. Avoid baby talk when speaking with them. Keep your tone low and avoid the high-pitched tones that people generally use toward infants. 

Don't ever yell even if you think they can't hear you. If the person didn't hear you or does have a hearing problem you can increase your sound, but don't yell at them. 

8. Break Activities into Parts 

When you break activities into parts instead of all at once it makes them more manageable. Encourage your loved one to do what they can, remind them gently of steps they forget, and help them with any steps they can't do anymore alone. 

Using visual cues during the tough parts can help as well. 

9. Respond with Reassurance 

It's common for those with dementia to feel confused, unsure of themselves, and anxious. If they're sure something happened that clearly didn't, don't try to prove them wrong.

Pay attention to how they're feeling at the moment, and give them reassurance with verbal and physical expressions. 

10. Don't Use Figures of Speech 

As dementia progresses, it'll be harder for your loved one to understand phrases or figures of speech. Refrain from using them, because, for example, you could say don't cry over spilled milk, and then they could check their milk to see if it spilled. 

11. Don't Ignore Them 

If you'd like to know an answer to a question, ask them first before asking someone else. Don't talk about them like they're not there because they might understand more than you think. 

12. Stay at Their Level 

Don't stand up and look down at them if they're sitting. If there's no seating, bend down to be at their same level. This will lead to a more respectful conversation even if physically it isn't the most comfortable. 

Some Tips for Communication

 The following are a few extra tips to keep in mind for effective communication:

• Don't interrupt them 

• Avoid criticizing or correcting

• Focus on feelings instead of facts

• Stay calm even if the conversation is frustrating

While it may seem overwhelming trying to remember all of these tips, it'll lead to a more successful and smooth visit. 

How to Deal with Dementia in a Parent 

After learning how to deal with dementia in a parent, you should feel better equipped with communication. Remember, to be patient and take your time because communicating with your loved one can take time. 

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