Giving birth can be a very difficult time. You're learning a lot, you're stepping outside of your comfort zone, and above all, you're learning to care for another human being.
However, being a postpartum mother doesn't have to be any more difficult than it already is. Some mothers tend to make things even more challenging by setting unrealistic expectations for themselves after they've given birth.
In this article, we're going to talk about why it's important to set realistic expectations after you give birth and how this can make your experience easier.
Why It's Important to Set Realistic Expectations
Setting realistic expectations is important for everyone - not just postpartum mothers.
Unfortunately, at some point during our lives, we tend to pick up the desire to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Whether this comes from peer pressure, the influence of our parents or society, or simply a distorted self-image, the result tends to be the same: disappointment.
While that may sound blunt at first, the opposite is also true! While setting unrealistic expectations may set you up for failure, setting realistic expectations sets you up for success. This is why it's particularly important for postpartum mothers to have realistic expectations.
Here are a few examples.
- A postpartum mother who sets unrealistic expectations will likely have a hard time meeting those expectations. Even if she does, ultimately, meet those expectations, she will have to put an unreasonable amount of work into achieving these goals. This will result in stress and emotional discomfort, which may affect the child in a negative way.
- By setting smaller, more achievable goals, a mother will be able to build a better life for herself and her child step-by-step.
- Setting realistic goals will allow a mother to balance all aspects of her life, instead of getting overwhelmed by work, school, parenting - or all of them!
Unfortunately, a lot of postpartum mothers don't realize that they're setting unrealistic goals until after they've failed to achieve them. This is because the intention behind the goal is perfectly reasonable. Ultimately, all goals that a postpartum mother sets are - in one way or another - for the betterment of her and her child.
The issue arises when the mother sets a goal that is very difficult or impossible to achieve. However, influenced by the love for their newborn child, they will pursue this goal to no end. This can lead to them burning out, becoming stressed, or developing mental illnesses.
How to Set Realistic Expectations
Naturally, the best thing for you to do is prepare to set realistic expectations. In a lot of ways, it can help to remember that things aren't going to be perfect.
Having a child is messy, it's tough, and it's hard work. If it wasn't, then mothers wouldn't always turn out to be the strong, incredible individuals that they are!
A few tips for helping yourself to set realistic expectations include:
- Be kind to yourself, and remember that every mother makes mistakes
- Don't always expect things to go smoothly, and don't beat yourself up if they don't
- Remember to expect the unexpected, and don't be surprised if things turn out completely different than you think they will
Conclusion
It's incredibly important to set realistic expectations for yourself when you've recently had a child. Be kind to yourself, and remember that it's okay to make mistakes. Self-compassion and the willingness to be imperfect will actually go a long way towards ensuring that you're able to take good care of your new child - and yourself.
