Is Your Child a Perfectionist?

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Raising children can be a heavy lifetime job. It is important for parents to know how to handle their children's behavior and know what type of attitude and personality their child has. You may also discover a lot of things about your child just by observing them when they're at home and when they are outside. If you happen to notice that your child is showing signs of being too keen, they might be a stickler for perfection. Although being a perfectionist may not seem problematic, parents should still be cautious of it because perfectionism might lead to a serious problem.

Whether you are raising your child to be a perfectionist on purpose or they are just the type who likes seeing everything in place and in top-shape with no flaws, raising children who only see perfection can bring not only difficulties to them but to you parents as well. There can be instances when you will find your child being up all night trying to perfect their homework or projects and some crying episodes when they find it hard or they feel like they are failing at something they are doing. When your child breaks down because something went wrong at sports practice today or they can't get that perfect picture after spending hours lurking on their phones for perfect angles, these can be taken as signs that your child is a perfectionist.

As parents, it is your responsibility to check these traits and personality in your children. If you seem to leave this perfectionism attitude in your children, they might face a lot of consequences and difficulties in the future and in the long-run.

What are the signs of Perfectionism?

It is not wrong for children to set expectations for themselves. However, if their only and main goal is to have everything in perfect shape, you should be alarmed. When children find it hard to feel satisfied with what they are doing in life, they might put more pressure on themselves and it would be hard for them to cope.

Although pressure is not always bad, parents should know that there is a difference between setting an expectation that is doable and an expectation that is unrealistic. Perfectionists tend to put pressure on themselves and establish unrealistic goals. A perfectionist's mindset is mostly about getting all or nothing. Even though if your perfectionist child gets 99 percent on their examination results, they still consider it as a failure for not being at 100 percent. 

When perfectionists succeed, they still find it difficult for them to enjoy their success. They usually say that their success was out of good luck and they should be more worried about the results in the future or maintaining their successes.

Forms of Perfectionism

A lot of researchers have found out that there is an adaptive perfectionist, a type of person who sees and adapts perfectionism in a positive way. There are different types of perfectionism and parents should be aware of this to know which type does their child have.

• Socially Prescribed Perfectionists
  These are the type of perfectionists who believe in other people, such as parents or coaches, that have unrealistic and non-achievable expectations from them. 

• Self-oriented Perfectionists
  These are the type of perfectionists who make unrealistic expectations for themselves.

• Other-oriented Perfectionists
  These are the type of perfectionists who have unrealistic standards for other people.