How to Raise a Gender Fluid Child

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Growing up, we've been taught that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, that girls should wear dresses and boys should wear pants, and that girls should be calm and poised while boys are allowed to be loud and rowdy.

But times are changing and people are now becoming more open about their sexuality, and society is now fighting against gender roles and is pushing for equality between sexes. This advancement is talked about among adults, but how about among children?

We see them on TV, from Angelina Jolie's child Shiloh Jolie-Pitt to Charlize Theron's daughter August Theron, more and more children are raised as gender fluid. Their parents let them be whoever they want to be and they respect whatever their child's decision is. So how can you raise your child in the same manner?

What does being gender-fluid mean?

Being gender-fluid means that a person is gender-neutral and they do not identify as either female or male. Raising your child as gender-fluid means that you leave their identity to them. If your son wants to wear dresses, play with dolls or have long hair, you let them. The same goes for raising a gender-fluid daughter. This kind of parenting teaches children that they can go against the stereotypes of being male or female. 

According to Charlotte Tate, a psychologist from San Francisco State University, a lot of children in America already feel like they do not belong in the gender group, and they start feeling it as early as the age of 5. It is important to remember that children change their gender because of their identities, they do not change their identities because of their gender. 

What you can do as a parent

Raising a gender-fluid child means that you go against what you were taught about how girls and boys should act. Boys are usually told to "man up", but you can teach your son that it is okay to talk about their feelings and cry. If you have a daughter, you can teach her to stand up for herself and speak up if needed, as girls are taught to be delicate and just follow what is already set by society. 

You can also expose your child to different options, like toys for both boys and girls, activities that both boys and girls can do and clothes that they want to wear. If your son tells you that they like wearing dresses because it makes them feel good, then let them wear dresses. If your daughter tells you that she hates wearing skirts because it makes her uncomfortable, refrain from buying skirts for her. Let your children decide which options they are most comfortable with and which options they think they can be more themselves. 

Learn to communicate with your child and be open to them. Not all children have raised gender-fluid and they may notice that they are different from other children their age. This could have a negative impact on your child, which is why you need to be compassionate and understanding. Talk to them and encourage them to do what they like, no matter how anyone else sees it and tell them that it is their happiness that matters the most.   

ALSO READ: Should Gender Spectrum Focusing on 'Gender Fluidity' and LGBT Be Added in The K-12 Curriculum?