Co-Parenting During The Coronavirus Pandemic

Co-parenting is not the easiest, however, it will be the best for your children. Maintaining a healthy parenting relationship with your ex-partner is all the more difficult during times when everyone is advised to practice social distancing. 

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Co-parenting is difficult but it is the best for the children.

How do you co-parent during a global pandemic? 

Be flexible. 

Everything is affected now. Children could not go out and attend school. Adults are not allowed to work in their offices, others are working from home, and health care professionals all have to work double-time, and keep themselves protected at all times. 

So many changes are happening in our schedules. With this, you have to be nice to your ex. It is important to work together for the sake of the children. A family law attorney and mediator in San Diego, Alison L. Patton said that most children are already feeling anxious and unsettled because of what is happening around them. They need their parents to be united as a team to help them adjust to the crisis. 

Think before you act. 

If you are angry because your ex shared something about his/her new love life on social media, and you plan to send him a text message, think twice or thrice, or never send the bitter message at all. 

A divorce lawyer in Atlanta and the author of "Divorce: Protect Yourself, Your Kids And Your Future," Randall Kessler, said that you have to think about how you say things, how the recipient would feel upon receipt of the message, and how they will be preserved for future litigation. He added that we should bear in mind that no matter how right you are, the other person is also suffering just like everyone else. He added that being afraid of the unknown causes stress, and now is the time that you help and reassure one another. 

Be willing to adjust to the child's needs. 

According to the founder of Hello Divorce, Erin Levine, many parents are making modifications to child support since many are losing jobs as of the current. If that is your plan, talk with your ex and agree on what to do in writing. If your partner would not agree, you may file a motion with the court to help you out. 

However, if you plan on talking with your ex about monetary support, do it in a compassionate way. Levine said that her biggest advice is, to be honest, and especially thoughtful about your tone during discussions. She added that everyone is struggling right now, so the more empathetic you are, the better. 

Check if you want any modifications to your custody agreement writing.

Due to the COVID pandemic, some exes would want to have some amendments to their custody because their job is affected. If you are afraid that your ex might take advantage of the amendment after the outbreak, you might want to consider getting it in writing. 

Patton said that you may have your mediator or attorney draft a simple stipulation indicating that the amended schedule is not setting a precedent and has an end date. She said that you may both sign the papers now and file it in when the courts are open. 

Be understanding of schedule changes.

If you follow a schedule with your ex about rotation on who takes the children, and then now that there is a coronavirus pandemic, suddenly there is a conflict in your ex's schedule, do not be angry, instead, understand that everyone is affected by this health crisis. 

Talk with your ex on any changes that need to be done. Be flexible because he needs your understanding just like you do. 

What to do if the other parent has COVID-19?

If one of the parents is suspected to have been exposed to the coronavirus, you should act rationally, even if it goes against the custody agreement. Right now, what is more important is your kids' safety. Patton said that you should not risk exposing your kids to the virus. And if you and your kids were exposed to the virus, share the information with your ex-partner, and be considerate of them. 

Over-communication is the key.

It would be better to communicate with your ex while practicing social distancing. This way he/she is updated on what is going on with you and your children's lives. Let him know your situation at home so that he/she would not worry. In stressful times such as this, you need one another to cope up. 

Compromise with your ex.

Kessler said that everywhere, family lawyers' advice is for exes to compromise now and fight later if needed.