Middle child: 8 secret strengths and traits you never knew

A middle child is often stereotyped as someone who feels he or she does is neglected and does not belong. Many believe that they have no drive, tend to be resentful, and have a negative outlook. Stanford University showed that middle children are the least bold, most envious, and least talkative among the other birth orders. 

However, there is more to middle children than what most people believe. Here are secret strengths that middle children have.

Middle child syndrome myth busted: 8 Secret strengths and traits of middle children
(Photo: unsplash/Meritt Thomas)

Natural negotiators

First-born children have natural influence among parents and siblings, while the younger ones have a whiny and sympathetic side. Middle children's way to adjust is by learning to negotiate between the two. 

Frank Sulloway, Ph.D., said that kids born in the middle are the most willing to "wheel and deal." As a result, they become patient, good listeners, and see both sides of the argument. 

Make best friends

Due to receiving less attention at home, middle children tend to seek strong relationships outside of the home. Parenting expert Gail Gross, Ph.D. said that they tend to pick an intimate circle of friends as their extended family. 

Great lover

Co-author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children," Katrin Schumann said that middles captain many ships. Besides friendship and leadership, middle children are born to captain relationships. 

Schumann told Psychology Today that a survey on Israeli marital happiness shows that middle children are the most satisfied and happiest in relationships. Like with friendships, they favor compromise than conflict and are often understanding the needs of others. This makes their relationship long-lasting. 

Middle child syndrome myth busted: 8 Secret strengths and traits of middle children
(Photo: unsplash/KS KYUNG)

Team players

Children born in the middle live in a "world of sharing." From the start, they share their space, time, parents' affections, and even toys. They develop sharing and collaborative skills. 

Small egos and more patient

Some middles have a low sense of self-esteem, and the positive side of this is that they deal with rejection better than those in other birth orders do. Since they have to wait more often as kids, they tend to be more patient growing up. 


Strong leaders

Being in the middle among the siblings, they are privileged to learn from the older ones and become role models for their younger siblings. It allows them to become a student and a teacher at the same time. Due to these dual natures, they develop flexibility, empathy, and negotiating skills, which are powerful tools for an effective leader. More than half of 52 percent of the US presidents were middle children. 

Middle child syndrome myth busted: 8 Secret strengths and traits of middle children
(Photo: unsplash/Markus Spiske)

Justice seekers

After perceiving injustice in their families, most middle children are justice seekers. They are focused on fairness and are attuned to the needs of others. 

Open-minded and adventurous

A study conducted by Psychology Today found that middle children are more adventurous and open-minded about sex. 

See other articles: 

Empathic Listening: An Effective Guide for Parents to Help Children Process Grief

Value of Money: 7 Essential Lessons to Teach Children

How to Set A Realistic Curfew for Teens

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