How to Deal with Difficult People in the Family

how to deal with dificult people in the family difficult relatives

By Fatima Virrey , Parent Herald Sep 25, 12:12 pm

Sometimes, thinking about how to deal with difficult people in the family is already an exhausting task.

You can't choose the family that you're born in. So, you might experience having to deal with difficult relatives because, well, you don't have a choice. To help you, here are ten ways on how to deal with difficult people in the family.

Remain calm

Difficult relatives have a special skill for getting under your skin. But if you allow that, you just might explode and make things worse. Get your emotions under control and when you feel triggered, step away to get some fresh air, count to 100, or practice deep breathing.

Start by using "I" in your statements

Say what you have to say in as few words as possible. Use "I" statements that allow you to take ownership of your feelings and ask for what you need without causing defensiveness in the other person.

Don't fall for the guilt-trip

Guilt-tripping is used by difficult relatives to try to sway your decisions by making you feel guilty, and this is emotional abuse. You don't have to play into the trap.

Don't ignore them completely

It might seem to be the best choice to zone out your difficult relatives but doing this may only cause more issues. You can just simply say "Hi." and engage in small talk if you can. Then, you can avoid them during events and engage only if they approach you.

(Photo: Polina Zimmerman from Pexels)
How to Deal with Difficult People in the Family

Avoid hot topics

Another thing to keep tabs on how to deal with difficult people in your family is avoiding hot topics. If you know that discussing politics usually ends up in a heated debate, avoid it. If your family member insists on discussing it, try to change the subject. But if you can't, step away from him or her by going to another room or by ending the meeting.

Give them complete freedom in one area

You might have a family member who always takes over conversations or who wants full control of everything. Allowing them to have a job in which they have complete control is the best way on how to deal with difficult people such as this. Giving them a purpose may keep them busy and out of your hair.

Stop trying to change them

It's hard, but you need to accept who they are and the difficulties that come along with dealing with them. This portion means letting go of the idea that someday they will show up and to deal with and be a total breeze to be.

Set your boundaries

When things turn bad, you need to look out for yourself. If difficult relatives become too much to handle, set your personal boundaries. These are limitations that you set for yourself to protect your own health and well-being. Let them know that they are crossing these boundaries you set for yourself and that you need space.

Stand up for yourself

This step is one of the important things to do on how to deal with difficult people in your family. Don't let your difficult relatives walk all over you. Speak and stand up for yourself when they continue to violate your boundaries. Do this for yourself and for your peace of mind.

Cut ties if you need to

Last on our list on how to deal with difficult people in your family is to cut contact with them if you really have no choice. Spending too much time worrying about your family members or trying to fix their problem can consume your life, and can threaten your mental health and mental being.