Shifting Focus: How to Solve Problems [Tips for Arguing Couples]

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In this article are some tips for arguing couples, and how to solve problems that both of you are facing. 

As couples, it is just normal that you argue at times. Especially when both of you are feeling miserable, frustrated, overwhelmed, and stressed about your jobs, kids, and your everyday life. When this happens, remember that the enemy is not one another, but the problem that both of you are facing. Learn how to solve problems because if not, there is a chance that your relationship can go downhill.

Breathe and step back. 

Tips for arguing couples are breathing and stepping back. When you and your partner are in the middle of an argument, and both of you are feeling emotional, it is hard to think before opening your mouth. But pausing, and stepping back can truly save your relationship. These will allow you to calm yourself, and ask yourself about the reasons behind your argument, that will help you on how to solve problems like that. 

Focus on the problems. 

In learning how to solve problems, you need to avoid accusing each other about who is worse off, and instead start focusing on your issues. Address the stress that both of you are feeling - that is your enemy. You need to fight together and not fight with each other. 

Listen more, talk less. 

Sometimes, when people are arguing, all they do is a voice out their opinions to one another. In addition to the tips for arguing couples is by avoiding this. Remember that you are partners. Both of you need to listen and hear each other out, not with a reason in mind to refute what the other is saying but to understand. This way is how to solve problems between both of you. This approach is effective since it shows that both of you are listening, but that you also understand what each other is saying or where you are coming from every time.

Avoiding arguments is not how to solve problems.

Tips for arguing couples are avoiding and resisting the urge to argue. Many couples think that they may need to keep it to themselves when they are mad at their partners because they worry about starting arguments that can end their relationship. But based on studies, avoiding arguments can only lead to more harm in a relationship than help it. 

Do not turn to physical or emotional abuse.

Always keep in mind that although you are arguing with one another, you are partners and that you value each other. If your fights ever made one or both of you physically, emotionally, and mentally unsafe, then that is not a normal fight. Understand that couples fighting is only healthy as long as it stays fair and safe. One of the important tips for arguing couples is never to use physical or emotional abuse. And if you find that you and your partner are arguing a lot, that it bothers you so much, and that the two of you can't seem to make it right, maybe it's time to seek professional help. 

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