Neglect and Intrusiveness: The Extremes in Baby Care

As parents, it is inevitable to only want the best for your newborn baby. However, there are times when we are not sure if you are doing just fine or if you are already at the extremes in baby care.

For Aristotle, there is a behavior called the golden mean approach. This approach is the middle position between the extremes. According to new research that was described in the Psychology Today, this approach should also be applied to caring for babies.

Neglect and Intrusiveness: The Extremes in Baby Care
(Photo: Anastasiya Gepp from Pexels)
Neglect and Intrusiveness: The Extremes in Baby Care

Extremes in baby care

There are two sides to the extremes, for example, recklessness and cowardice or stinginess and extravagance. In terms of the extremes in baby care. there are emotional neglect and intrusiveness.

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Emotional neglect

According to Andrea Brandt in an article for Psychology Today, emotional neglect happens when parents do not treat a child's emotion as important.

Also, emotional neglect is ignoring a baby's plea for attention. 

Intrusiveness

On the other hand, parents may tend to be intrusive when they impose their agenda on the baby through adult-led activities. An example of intrusiveness, according to a study in 2020 is, "offering a barrage of physical or verbal interactions, not allowing the child to influence the pace or focus of play, engaging in excessive physical touch."

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How to practice the golden mean approach?

There is such a thing as the middle or midpoint of everything. For example, in between stinginess and extravagance is generosity; or the midpoint of recklessness and cowardice is courage. However, taking the middle ground is sometimes challenging.

For parents, it could be a matter of testing the waters, especially when it comes to baby care.

Neglect and Intrusiveness: The Extremes in Baby Care
(Photo: Photo by Katie E from Pexels)
Neglect and Intrusiveness: The Extremes in Baby Care

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For parents to ensure that they are not neglecting their baby or becoming intrusive, they could follow these steps of the gonden mean approach:

  1. Practice empathic baby care. This way, you try to put yourself in the baby's shoes and assess whether giving them the attention will be intrusiveness or it is just exactly what they need.
  2. Try the mutually-responsive orientation of taking care of a baby. When a baby needs something which would entail making them feel better or develop better, then it should be alright.
  3. Follow the baby's inner compass. A baby has their needs that are relevant for development and growth. Thus, these needs should be addressed by parents.
  4. Forego your agendas for the baby. In doing this, you are setting aside your wants for your baby and are only consider what would be best for him or her.
  5. Understand the baby's pattern of needs.

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