Intimacy Tips for Busy Parents: Scheduling and More

Photo: (Photo : Toa Heftiba / Unsplash )

Parents need not give up on the pleasures of sex after the act of procreation is done. Sex has many benefits that can help reduce stress by releasing feel-good hormones. Of course, sex also helps keep the bond of a couple and boosts intimacy. But how can parents make time for enjoyable sex now that they have kids? 

Make Time for Sex

Busy couples do not find the time or sex; they make time for it, Fatherly advised. Couples need to take time to open up about their feels about sex. It helps to manage expectations on what is done without neglecting the needs and responsibilities of each other.

Prepare the Mind for Sex

When there is a clear expectation on when sex can happen, each can focus on their jobs without feeling guilty for neglecting their partner. When the big day comes, you can start to talk dirty or text dirty; starting foreplay the night or morning before. This helps kickstart excitement and builds up sexual feelings. Others, like 34-year-old Karly, say she and he husband get into the mood before coming together like a team warming up before a big game. Think: getting into the shower together. 

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Forget Not the Kids

Have a plan for how the kids will be taken care of during your intimate moments. 36-year-old Dan says they budget for a babysitter to enjoy a date night which he says greatly improved their sex life. Do not just bank on having sex when kids go to sleep. Parents may end up falling asleep or get disturbed in the middle of a climax. Have someone trusted to play with the kids, so they have fun while you and your spouse are intimate. Some busy couples even leverage summer camp to get their sex life back. Oh, and do not forget to lock the bedroom door. 

ALSO READ: Parental Stress and Depression Levels on the Rise During Lockdown

Schedule Regular Time for Sex

Sex can be a great stress-reliever, day-booster, helps couples stay better connected, and gives a sense of normalcy during the pandemic, Good Housekeeping noted. Experts believe in scheduling sex, too. Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., a professor of Human Sexuality at the University of Florida, says sex during the pandemic is not something that happens; it should be planned. Quarantine or not, sex therapists have been recommending couples to schedule sex, discussing their ideal frequency, and setting a time that works for both parties. Which day and time are best is not the same for every couple. 

ALSO READ: Being Hands-On During Baby's First Year Helps Reduce Paternal Depression

Avoid Over-scheduling Intimacy

Huffington Post advises against turning love-making into a chore. Scheduling sex is essential, so couples will not let their sex life slide into the backseat. It shows you want to be intimate with your partner just as much as you want to be a good parent and have a promising career.

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