Mom Sparks Debate for Saying She Brings All Her Kids to Birthday Parties Despite Only One Invite

Birthday Parties Jeena Wilder TikTok mom TikTok video birthday party etiquette birthday party invite parenting point of view diverse family

By Lilian Scott , Parent Herald Dec 11, 02:29 am

A mother has ignited a debate among parents on TikTok after sharing a video saying that she brings all of her five kids to birthday parties even if only one has been invited.

Jeena Wilder, 32, created the TikTok video to share her parenting point of view and stated that if someone invites her child to parties, they get the whole family. She's then seen in the video parading her five kids, ranging from nine years old to four months old, along with her husband.

But with over 700,000 views on TikTok and nearly a million on Twitter, where the video was reshared, Wilder's parenting stance has drawn parents to react and share their thoughts about party etiquette.

@heytherewilders Are you team just the invited child goes or team the whole family?! My husband works a lot and most days it’s just me and the kids! I always RSVP or ask the parents first. #largefamily #family #parentsoftiktok #interracialcouple #birthdayparty ♬ Hillbilly type beet - Dadood

Respecting the Invitation

One TikTok user said she would never bring all her children because she has to respect the invitation and the family's decision to have just one child. Another chimed in and said that the party's host might be on a strict budget or capacity, and the Wilder family would be ruining those plans.

Another user also pointed out that every child deserves to have "individual experiences without their siblings" and bond with their own friends. Others told Wilder that she has lousy party etiquette.

However, Wilder's video also had some viewers agreeing with her and even extending an invite along since they think they are such a fun family. One commenter said that it's "the more the merrier" at his parties, so he would welcome the Wilder bunch.

The mom said that her stance is not up for debate in the comments. She also explained that they don't "just show up" because she always RSVPs party invitations and then nicely asks the host if they can all come.

In an interview with Buzzfeed, Wilder explained that she doesn't want to drop off one child to the party to go solo. She also cannot go with the child because she has four other kids to look after at home. With her husband busy at work, especially during the summer season, Wilder said that her solution to this dilemma is to tag along to the party with everyone in the family.

"I always ask beforehand if I can bring siblings to the party," she told Buzzfeed, adding that she "always pay for the ones that weren't invited if the party is at an event place." She also insisted that they give wonderful gifts.

Wilder further explained that she never pressures another parent to her requests as this isn't about entitlement, but it's about her young children's safety. Wilder said that once her kids are older, then she would be comfortable leaving them alone in someone else's house to enjoy the party.

Raising a Diverse Family

This isn't the first time the mom has gone viral because the social media star from California has an interesting, diverse family. Her middle child, a girl, is white, but Wilder said these differences in appearance and skin color don't change how they treat or love each other. In an interview with People, the mom said they openly discussed the adoption of her daughter.

Wilder admitted that her family's social media popularity had attracted all kinds of comments and criticisms. However, she believes that the best way to deal with the annoyances is to block them off.