Sure-fire Ways to Prevent Sibling Fights Before They Turn Physical

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By Lilian Scott , Parent Herald Dec 16, 12:05 am

Every family has dealt with conflicts and sibling fights that can be upsetting and frustrating for both parents and the kids. While some bickering is normal, especially between brothers and sisters, some conflicts may involve biting, punching, and slapping.

With younger children, physical aggression could be their way of handling their anger and frustration with another sibling that could have damaging consequences if the parents do not intervene. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, sibling fights can get fierce, but violence or abuse manifested through repeated patterns of physical aggression must not be tolerated.

Here are some sure-fire ways to stop sibling fights before they become physical:

1. Never take sides or label the "aggressor" versus the "victim."

Once a parent steps in and stops sibling fights, they should do their best to let the kids know that they are open to listening to both sides. They should also refrain from reprimanding one child while consoling and soothing the other because these actions will quickly define who has been good or bad for the parents. According to Positive Parenting, labeling the incident with a victim and an aggressor will most likely guarantee a repeat of the conflict and drama.

If none of the parents are around but have been told about the fight, they must make it a point to sit down with the kids involved when they are home. Kids need to be heard fair and square, and their parents should let them "vent" their issues without judgments or interruptions.

2. Stress on the fact that harmony is important to you.

While talking to the kids involved, explain the importance of living in harmony. Stress on how much mom and dad work together because they are part of a team that makes a peaceful home. Parents should also remind their children that fights can be hurtful for everyone.

Parents who profess harmony and peace should model good behavior on their children. This means that they shouldn't yell or become physical when they try to stop sibling fights.

According to a study in the Journal of Clinical Child Adolescent Psychology, kids who tend to be physical towards their siblings can inflict as much physical or mental damage as a school bully. One way to lessen this problem is for parents to approach their kids calmly and then perhaps ask them for suggestions and solutions on how to keep the peace in the family.

3. Separate the children for a few hours.

For some parents, it works to keep the bickering siblings apart from each other, without any communication, for a few hours until their emotions temper down. One parent shared that since her kids quickly miss each other if they are forced to stay apart, they forget about what they were fighting about, so they start to communicate better.

Sometimes, giving kids the space to process their feelings or work out their issues can stop the sibling fights from becoming vicious. It might also help for a parent to bring one child outside for a quick walk in the park to cool down.