Parents with Disabilities: Debunking Stereotypes and Stigmas

Michelle Yang was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 20. At the time, she admitted that she might never be a parent. For decades, she thrived in medication and therapy.

Now she's a mom, gainfully employed, and a happily married homeowner. She admits she had to hide her bipolar condition for two decades before becoming a mental health advocate. Michelle admits that she could not get past her mentally-ill label despite doing everything right and is often subjected to stereotypes and stigmas of a mother living with the condition or disability.

Stereotypes and Stigma of Parents with Disabilities

Michelle is not alone in her frustration and fear. It is a feeling shared by moms with disabilities. As per Heller School for Social Policy and Management in Brandeis, when the Disabled Parenting Project (DPP) hosted Mother Day Twitter Chats in 2016 and 2017, moms shared some themes and quotes on stigma and stereotypes facing mothers with disabilities.

Like Michelle, who was turned away by many psychiatrists and had encountered doctors who wanted to change her mind about having kids as they could not see through her mentally-ill label, many moms with disabilities are thought of as unable to have children. Many people also believe that their children will also have disabilities and that disabled parents are unequipped to care for their children.

Moms with disabilities admit that many question their ability to parent their children. These misconceptions can even get them into trouble with the child welfare system for some moms. According to Good Housekeeping, one in ten parents in the U.S. has a disability. Although the Disabilities Act protects parents with disabilities, many still struggle with perceiving that they are inadequate parents. In the Tweet survey, some disabled parents said that they easily blog about it when other moms mess up. But if disabled moms blog about their parental blunders, they would fear that child services would take their children.

The general misconception, the survey said, was that they are incapable as individuals, and for parents with autistic syndrome disorder, they had to show people their abilities more.

In school, moms with disabilities are often assumed incompetent; some parents tweeted in the survey.

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Misperception: Unfair for Children to Have Parents with Disabilities

Even kids of parents with disabilities are not spared from the stigma. Some people believe that it is unfair for children to have parents with disabilities.

The Twitter survey showed a pervasive assumption that having a disabled mom makes the kids' lives harder. Some people assume that kids of parents with disabilities take care of their parents and not the other way around.

Concerning the inability to take care of their kids, children of parents with disabilities are perceived to have less childhood as their parents could not play or take care of them.

According to Insider, despite these stereotypes and stigmas of parents with a disability, Michelle says that all she can do is be the best mom, partner, and person possible. She added that she is proud of the mother that she is and is fighting for a future without stigmas and stereotypes around mental illness.

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