How to Effectively Talk With Your Children to Make Them Listen

Language of Listening Effective Communication parenting Camilla Miller

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Jul 15, 11:17 am

Parenting is a big responsibility as it refers to raising children and providing them with protection and care to ensure their healthy development into adulthood.

According to CNBC, listening critically to a child's early development, building relationships, and achieving professional success later in life play a vital role in children's lives as it enables them to learn and keep safe from harm.

However, a parenting expert and authorized Language of Listening coach, Camilla Miller, said parenting is missing a three-step framework. This framework can help reframe any dispute and will allow a child to achieve their goals within a parent's boundaries.

"You get what you want and they get what they want. It's win-win," Miller said.

Acknowledging your children's emotions

A child will only listen if you let them feel their true emotions. They need to feel heard before they can listen to you. When a child feels unheard, they will assume you're rejecting their wants and needs and conclude that what they feel is wrong.

Allowing the kids' emotions to be heard doesn't mean that you always need to give in to their demands but gives you an opportunity to step into their shoes and know the root cause of their behavior.

Kids will assume that if you don't care about what they want, they also won't care about what you want.

Parents must consider their choice of words no matter how drained, frustrated, or flustered they are. They must still demonstrate appreciation, love, and safety towards kids, per Your Tango.

Analyzing children's situation

Once parents have understood the child's behavior, they will be in a position where they will move forward and find a solution.

If kids are displaying acceptable behavior, assist, acknowledge and enable it to help reinforce such behaviors in the future.

If kids are displaying a behavior you don't like, assist them in redirecting energy toward something you like.

"It's about looking at the need behind the behavior and helping them to meet that need in a way that is acceptable to you," Miller stated

Parents must avoid structuring the feedback with themselves at the center; instead of saying that you're glad your children did a certain thing, mix your statements with compliments.

Usually, the cause why people act out or shout is the reason for the need for power. Miller noted the need to respect such desire. Hence, parents must not resort to words that shatter one's emotions.

While the framework Language of Listening is structured principally for children, it can also be applied to the situation and other groups such as teenagers, colleagues, and romantic relationships, according to Miller.

Market Trading Essential stated that in situations for teenagers, saying what parents notice will help teenagers to understand themselves when they may be behaving in unusual ways while at the same time opening up the channels of communication.

Parents who demonstrate effective communication not only reap the rewards of having the benefit of closeness with the kids but also gift kids with the abilities needed to succeed in future relationships.