Raising Mentally Strong Kids; Science Says Stop Telling Kids That All Will Be Well

mental health Amy Morin 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do Mentally strong kids validate kids' feelings

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Jul 16, 06:03 am

For kids to be mentally strong, parents must allow them to encounter situations that can help them in the future. Parents devote countless minutes and hours to helping kids build skills that they think will help them have a brighter future.

Kids must experience what it is like to be in a certain tough situation for them to be able to think practically and realistically.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," said that she had witnessed countless adults endure years of suffering as they lacked the basic skills needed to deal with hardships, failure, setbacks, and rejection.

According to a study, "Early Social-Emotional Functioning and Public Health: The Relationship Between Kindergarten Social Competence and Future Wellness," social and emotional skills are the greatest predictors of the future; thus, parents must not tell their kids that everything will be fine.

The researchers found that kids who are more emotionally, mentally, and socially competent back in kindergarten are more likely to go to college and be employed full-time at 25.

On the other hand, kids with the lowest social and emotional competency scores were most likely to drop out of school and at the highest risk for substance abuse issues and legal problems, per Make It.

Raising tough kids

Raising mentally strong kids must start with validation. Parents must validate kids' feelings no matter how dramatic they seem as smart parents teach kids that it is okay to have such emotions and what matters the most is what they will do with those feelings.

It is okay to feel mad but hitting someone is not okay, is something that parents must say to their kids as they will know what is wrong and right and feel validated.

According to CNBC, parents must let their kids commit mistakes; although it's tough to watch a kid mess up, as wise parents turn mistakes into learning opportunities. Mistakes and their natural outcome can be life's greatest teachers.

Too many gifts to kids can make them undisciplined, as overindulgence can be unhealthy, and kids can miss out on learning valuable life skills and abilities, per Business Insider.

A child's physical health is important, so is mental health

It is easy for parents to identify children's basic needs such as warm clothes, nutritious foods, a healthy living environment, and many more. But, a child's mental and emotional needs are not obvious.

Having good mental health for kids allows them to think quickly and clearly and develop and learn new skills.

If a child didn't do well in a test, find out why and ask them what they feel about the situation, as children may be discouraged, so avoid giving them sarcastic remarks. Give them enough time to open up, and when they are ready to communicate, talk with them and assure them.

Encourage children to enjoy the process and not just focus on achieving specific goals but also enjoy. Let children try new activities that include teamwork, self-esteem, and obtaining new skills.

Remember that the goal is not to control the child but for them to learn self-control, per Mental Health America.