How Parents Can Treat Their Child Equally to Avoid Having Favoritism

Parents usually struggle with treating their kids fairly as there is a gray area between a child's needs and treating each child the same way. Parents find it easy when one of their children shares the same interests and hobbies the parents have, which turns out to be favoritism for the other child.

As a parent, you are accountable for your actions; thus, you must guard against any possible favoritism for the entire children in the household. Parents need to stay neutral whatever happens, motivate each child to love each other, and show appreciation to their child, per WikiHow.

A 2010 study entitled "Mothers' Differentiation and Depressive Symptoms Among Adult Children" determined that children who observed that their mother continuously favored or declined one child over another were more likely to experience depression in middle age. Therefore, parental favoritism toward children has a long-term effect and is difficult to remove as it will affect one child's perspective.

According to Dr. Karl Pillemer, Ph.D., director of the Cornell Institute for Translational Research on Aging, the concept of unequal treatment entails effects that can damage nearly all siblings, so in this case, it doesn't matter whether you're the favorite one or not. However, the less favored kids will have ill toward their mom or the favorite child, and being the favorite child means having another huge expectation from the parents, which can also affect their mental health.

How parental favoritism can be avoided?

For the parents to avoid favoritism in the family, the main key is to never compare one child to another as they will feel hurt and will also compare themselves to the others, making them doubt their abilities and skills.

Teach kids that every child has their own needs, and parents do their best to meet those necessities and want as they are unique and different from each other. Parents should focus on meeting each child's needs and providing the energy and resources needed to develop a healthy relationship with parents and siblings.

According to Wholehearted Dads, the side of the less-favored child is more of a different issue. What kids can gain from such emotions and treatment are depression and low self-esteem. They will gradually become attention seekers and has a significant chance of producing a toxic family.

Read Also: Strict Parenting: Experts Say it Can Possibly Create Rebellious Children

How favoritism in the family affects the children?

According to Dr. Brenda Volling, director and research professor at the University of Michigan's Center for Human Growth and Development, having parental favoritism does not only affect the relationship between a child and the parents but also their relationship with their siblings, as favoritism could have devastating effects that can ruin sibling relationships.

Dr. Volling said that when kids are still young, they live in the same household, but once they move out and have grown so much, there are a lot of instances where siblings avoid each other, which sometimes results in no communication as the relationship is already strained due to the parental favoritism way back in their childhood, per Metro Parent.

Related Article: Favoritism among Children by Mothers: Are Their Choices Always the Same?