Why Debt of Gratitude to Parents Must Not Exist Among Households?

Photo: (Photo : Sabine van Erp)

According to Fatherly, children thinking about what children owe their parents is a modern philosophical luxury.

Emily Begeman, a student of Bioethics from Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, said that there are levels of obligations that parents possess with their children however, the parents do not hold gratitude from child to parent. Children, on the other hand, must be grateful since they have been taken care of but they should not be morally obligated to be grateful.

Jonas Hill from Griffith University said that most parents give birth to a child as they do not want to die alone or they want someone to take care of them when they are gray and old. Several parents fed their children the obligation they must have when they grow old which is entirely wrong as children fear growing up and leaving their comfort zone as they will think of their parents first which usually leads to having difficulty leaving the nest.

Bill Johnson Ph.D., from Husson University, argues that kids do not owe gratitude to their parents as the child who came out from the womb is not a creation of the parents. Parents are given the act of passion of love that resulted in a pregnancy.

A child will be grateful in their own ways

Gratitude Theory recommends that children take care of their children as they are uplifted by gratefulness for selfless and compassionate child-rearing, this is possible for kids when they experience more positive emotions throughout their growth. In this type of theory, parents do not set standards for their children to be grateful but rather the kids set their own standards for them to thank their parents in any way.

Whereas in Special Goods Theory, children are bound and obligated to offer only what they can offer, may it be love or any certain care in many cases - in direct trade for what their parents possess or offer.

Such theories are all part of the familial obligation and are sort of emotional relationships. Such is not a linear financial transaction. As transactions and other reasoning, specifically, economics may underpin the relationship between a parent and a child but a sense of reasoning does not accomplish crowd out of emotion.

According to Medium, the critical accusation of parents against their children is the statement: "Look how much I've done for you, and you can't even [blank]!"

Dr. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Senior Research Scholar at Clark University and author of Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, determined that what the parents only want is a friendship with their adult child. Arnett clarifies that what parents desire the most is the payoff which means making the parents feel that they are loved by their kids and are grateful to them.

Read Also: Why Taking Family Vacations is Essential; What Are Its Benefits

Allowing adults to show gratitude to their parents without telling them to do so

According to IF Studies, it turns out that many children are willing to assist their parents. Two-thirds of children say that they have plans to provide their parents with financial assistance and the same percentage are glad and willing to let their parents live with them when they decided to retire from work.

Related Article: Children No Longer Write Thank You Notes And It's The Parents' Fault, Education Advocate Says

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