Better Parenting: Learn It from the Old and Wise Grandparents

Parenting is a glorious thing. Raising and taking care of kids that you and your partner have created out of love is one of the best blessings you two could ever have. Seeing and experiencing your children's first smile, walk, or word and watching them grow into these amazing individuals is worth the labor, the sleepless nights, the tiring days, and the stress and tension between partners. 

True enough, even in all its wonders and joys, parenting is not a walk in the park, as Crosswalk would define it. 

Parenting is not easy. All parents would agree that it is not something to be done alone. It is not something that can be learned merely by researching, observing, or discovering. Parenting is more effective and loving when learned and witnessed by those who have not only gone through it but have victoriously endured and dealt with it. And, who better to ask, learn from, and raise kids with but from the old, wise, and willing grandparents.

Grandparents do not only offer joy, support, and love that are important and impossible to quantify. They also have the wisdom to offer to parents struggling through their parenting years and grace for grandkids who they can effortlessly spoil, which is also a secret that should be learned from them. Grandparents are also marriage savers as they have fought the difficulties and strains of parenting in marriage and won from it.

Parenting 101 from the old and wise

In an article she wrote for Parents, Yolanda Clark Jackson narrated that over the years, she had learned a lot from her grandparents by being with them and watching them relate with people. She was grateful for them because they made her a better person. She never thought she would be more thankful for their lives and wisdom now that she had become a wife and a mother.

Her grandparents taught her to be discerning when bravery is required, and with her grandparents being black, she knew that bravery meant a whole different level for them.

Jackson expressed that her grandparents have inspired her to always have courage despite the uncertainty, learning that courage will always lead you to something better. When she thinks about the hardest things she has encountered and done, she gets to compare these with all her grandparents' hardships and is motivated to endure. 

While her grandparents taught her to be brave, they also did not forget to remind her to always be a kid at heart and never lose her love for play. She recalled how her grandfather would pretend to chase them around the house and how her grandmother would watch wrestling matches with them and wrestle with them after. She remembered the crunchy laughter and the joy on their faces and realized that the playfulness of her grandparents did not only help them maintain their vitality but gave off that same vitality to their kids and grandchildren.

Jackson also learned that regular family time is non-negotiable. She shared that family time with her grandparents was a weekly ritual, and they were taught to value and honor this consistent ritual of quality time and eating together. Back then, she did not know yet how these moments of togetherness would help strengthen their relationship with each other, which made a huge impact on how she is raising her own family at present. 

Her grandparents taught her that marriage is beautiful and it is a partnership. Her grandparents showed them this beautiful closeness in simple ways like preparing meals together in the kitchen. She learned the power of partnership by simply hearing the stories of what they did together to help their children achieve their goals. All these impacted how she saw marriage and the standards of what she should be looking for in a husband. The thriving relationship she saw with her grandparents expanded her perspective of marriage beyond a romantic ideal to a loving partnership that can stand the test of time and be a beautiful inspiration and strong example for the next generation.

Lastly, Jackson learned that family stories are a legacy and should be passed on to the next generation, not only to introduce loved ones and relatives that the kids have and may never meet but also to introduce perseverance and other strong characteristics needed in going through life. She shared that she has proudly passed on to her children the stories of her grandparents' strength, bravery, and accomplishments, knowing that "they have been invaluable in proving what's possible."

Read Also: Setting Boundaries for Grandparents Who Tend to Spoil their Grandchildren

Grandparents, not to be taken for granted

Unlike Jackson, many parents today have stopped relying on the wisdom of their grandparents, with the mindset that whatever knowledge they have is ancient and outdated.

A survey from Good Housekeeping stated that many grandparents know that they have a lot to learn to keep up with the evolutions in child-rearing and that they are bemused by how technologies and equipment have changed the rules of the game.

However, that should not be a hindrance to creating and building relationships with grandparents and their grandkids because no matter how outdated they are and how they sometimes struggle to keep up with the ways of today, they have what technology and modern equipment can never provide, and that is genuine love and care.

As one of the survey researchers pointed out, "There are a lot of grandparents now being faced with stark realities that are different from what they had thought the world would look like. But in the end, love triumphs."

Related Article: The Need to Revive Role Grandparents Play in Children's Lives