Kids Having a Crush Is Normal; Experts Say Ask Your Children How They Feel About It

First Crush Crush Cynthia Langtiw The Chicago School of Professional Psychology Allison Bates Kristin Lagattuta How to Handle Your Child's First Crush Lisa Spiegel Carleton Kendrick EDM Freedman Smith

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Aug 20, 06:05 pm

Cynthia Langtiw, Psy.D., Assistant Professor at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology told Parents that kids normally experience having their first crush at the age of 5 or 6. When kids enter kindergarten or first grade, they would feel affection for their classmates as they spend more time in school than their time with their families.

Allison Bates, a registered clinical counselor, understands that many parents still see their child as a little baby but according to her, parents need to have a plan. Parents must take such a chance to educate their children about relationships. Bates recommends asking kids about what they like about that certain crush and focusing on things they value about their crush. This will also help kids to weigh their inner qualities. Kids having their first crush can appear very challenging to parents as they should know how to react appropriately once their kids open up.

Parents must allow their kids to feel that having a crush is normal. Kristin Lagattuta, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Developmental Psychology at the University of California, Davis states in How to Handle Your Child's First Crush that early infatuations don't really last long, thus, kids can get over them quickly. Hence, this stage doesn't stop as they can be easily hurt when someone tells them that they don't like them that's why parents must guide their children and make them feel that what they feel is valid. Dr. Lagattuta suggests to parents mention some of their experiences from childhood for kids be able to feel that what they're going through are all normal.

Parents must guide their children on their first crush

Despite the fact that having a crush is normal, parents must guide their children on establishing boundaries between their child and their crush. Although experts stated that physical behaviors have nothing to do with sexuality at such an age, it is important for parents to set boundaries in order for kids to be secure as well even though parents cannot see what their children are doing. Lisa Spiegel, Co-founder of Sojo Parenting, in New York City, says that setting boundaries are a smart move for parents.

Dr. Langtiw agreed to set boundaries and says parents must teach their children that playing together at school is okay but that doesn't include kissing at all. Kids don't normally tell their parents when they're having a crush, therefore, parents must make a move and ask them not directly, you might say you noticed that your child has been hanging out with a certain person. This way, the child will simply open up and parents must try their best not to dismiss their child's emotions as it could make them uncomfortable. Try asking your child what he feels when hanging out with his crush or and get every information needed as it could be useful to you.

Carleton Kendrick, EdM, a Boston-based family therapist advises parents to help a child prepare to deal with a crush and help a child to understand the value of her own body and herself, per Quick and Dirty Tips.

Crushes as part of the normal development of the children

Kids can have their crush as early as 7 or 8. Children fall in love with the developmental measures provided to them.

Freedman Smith, who has a nine-year-old son who has a crush, told Today's Parent to balance the validation of the child's feelings while also not putting excessive attention on the crush as parents still need to respect the kid's emotions as they are valid.