No Need To Teach Babies How to Sleep: 7 Alternatives for Sleep Training

Alternative to Sleep Training Nighttime Parenting Sleep for Babies Sleep for Toddlers

By Jo Anne Hubert , Parent Herald Sep 06, 07:55 am

One of the greatest fear of parents, old and new, is having their babies not sleep through the night. This scares parents so much, believing they are doing something wrong if their children cannot doze off immediately and well into the night.

Thus, most parents, especially the new ones, always ask - How do we teach our babies to sleep at night?

You don't!

Raised Good award-winning blog founder and writer Tracy Gillet strongly advocate that parents need not teach their babies how to sleep. In an article she wrote about alternatives for sleep training, she said that it is a myth that parents need to "teach" their children how to sleep. No baby, toddler, child, or even human needs "non-responsive" sleep training.

The writer proclaimed to fellow parents that babies need to be taught how to sleep in as much the same way as there is no need for them to be taught how to breathe, walk, or talk. What parents need to do is offer and provide conditions for their children to surrender to sleep.

Nighttime Parenting: Relationship over strategies

A popular sleep "expert" stated that parents commit a terrible mistake if they let their children fall asleep while cuddling.

This is a myth, too, said Gillet, and a scary, more terrible mistake if done so. She called this a famous yet erroneous "tactic-based approach" to nighttime parenting and expressed her sadness and concern as this ungentle and unloving approach is practiced by many parents, by culture, and by society. It is disappointing that an expensive, modern technology of a cradle is more socially acceptable to shake babies to sleep than the gentle sway and singing of lullabies of parents to their children until they fall asleep in their arms.

When has convenience and profitability become more essential than connecting and building intimacy between parents and children?

The problem, though, with these sleep tactics society approves of is that children do not believe in them, Gillet bravely revealed in another article.

"If we are brave enough to listen, our children tell us exactly what they need. And it's simple. They need us. They need connection. They need contact. They need security. And if we're being honest, we need the exact same things, we've just been taught to bury our feelings. To doubt our instincts. To deny the very customs that make us human. We are, after all, social mammals. We're a carrying species. We're designed for social sleep."

Parent-Child Connection: Alternative to Sleep Training

Parents need to understand that while children's sleep time can represent a break for them to doze off or just have their well-deserved rest, it actually means separation and disconnection for kids. And this might be the reason why it is so hard for them to fall asleep.

Children's fear of separation can never be cured with another form of separation. The best medicine for it is connection.

In her blog's Instagram account, Gillet suggested seven alternatives for non-responsive sleep training.

Parents need to stay with their babies or toddlers until they fall asleep. Breastsleeping and bed-sharing are vital, especially in the child's early years.
Parents must communicate gentleness and love by letting their children know that when they fall asleep, they need not worry because they will be checked on by their parents every five minutes or regularly. It will be nice to leave a love note on their bedside table.
If bedrooms are close enough, parents can connect their and children's beds with a ribbon or string to signify presence and connection.
Parents can give their children an item of clothing or any item that has their smell as this can bring them comfort.
Focus on the next connection. This is called the process of "bridging." Parents should say something like, "I cannot wait to see you in the morning," or "I cannot wait to have pancakes with you for breakfast," instead of bluntly just saying, "It's time for bed."
Melatonin is a hormone that promotes sleep, and this can be acquired through laughter, so parents can do roughhousing and silly games that encourage fun and laughter before bedtime.
Lastly, create "connecting rituals" before and during bedtime to help make babies and toddlers feel connected and safe. Let children know that you are fully present with them, and they are fully protected even if they are asleep.