Parental Influence: Children Ends up Choosing Careers That Parents Wanted

Parent's Shadows Living in Parent's Shadow Parental influence

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Sep 27, 07:19 pm

Children of famous actors and actresses are not the only ones living under the veil of successful parents as this experience is typical, according to BBC. The effects of it also ripple well into adulthood. Some children of well-known celebrities have admitted that they have found it hard living under their parent's shadows as almost everyone has their expectations, hindering them from doing what they really want.

John, the son of a businessman, told Seeking Succession that the difficulty of living in his parent's shadow is unexplainable, and he can't find the right words to describe his situation. It made growing up very hard for him. His father is a successful businessman, which he thought he would eventually like. However, after he established his own business, he realized that there was constant pressure as people, even those he didn't know, would remind him how big his father was in the field of business.

Bored Teacher showed that children living in this setup have parents who do not let them move without their presence, creating more pressure on the child. For instance, some parents would sit next to their children during Zoom meetings and teach them some stuff to have an amazing recitation.

Children might suppress behavior to gain approval from parents

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist in Florida, host of "The Verywell Mind Podcast" and author of "13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do," said that children are mainly affected by this setup. They find it hard not only to find themselves but also to consider a lot of things before actually deciding as they will first think of their parent's reputation as they have to take care of it. Children learn early on that they are reliant on caregivers for survival. Thus, they might suppress behaviors or personality traits to gain more attention, affection, and approval from their parents. However, for kids whose carers take up a lot of space, the impacts of such-spoken or unspoken pressures-can be exacerbated.

According to experts, experiencing the weight of parental influence is a common experience for almost all kids regardless of their wealth, notability, and success. The impacts of these can be prolific. Kids of famous parents can find it hard to individuate themselves considering the presence of high-achieving parents. A child, even those who do not have well-known parents, might never feel good enough due to the expectations set for them by their parents.

On the other hand, Medium suggests children focus on inner resilience and pursue positive experiences that improve psychological outcomes.

Dealing and coping with parent's shadows

Alex Leff, a psychotherapist and relationship expert in New York City, said children who grow up in their parent's shadows may encounter a wide range of challenges in adulthood as she noticed many of her clients always aim for perfection and high achievement, resulting in anxiety.

Morin added that children of highly successful individuals might feel they are only known because of their parents rather than as themselves. This is because the public draws more attention to what parents do regardless of the situation rather than focusing on the children and their achievements.

A 2021 survey by the global recruitment platform Joblist determined that 65 percent of respondents ended up in the career or field they felt their parents wanted for them.

Children still cannot manage themselves as they are still young, while teenagers have many conflicts in mind. Thus, parents should solve the issue as it all starts with raising the children. Parents, famous or not, must allow children to choose their path; they may have come from you, but we are all different people.