The Dangers of Putting Too Much Pressure on Your Kids

Although parental pressure may come from good intentions, it can unfortunately hamper a child's self-esteem. Most parents want their kids to be happy and successful, however, the definitions of both factors may not ring true for the children. Nevertheless, parents need to bear in mind that a child is their own person and not an extension or reflection of you.

Certain parenting experiences might provoke you to pressure your children to make different choices such as struggling with something that came easily to you or making different life decisions than you did. Parents may feel that their choices could make kids' lives easier and more successful. Parents also gain the admiration of other parents in their circle. Hence, whatever your motives, the pressure you put on your kid can devastating to them and can eventually harm the relationship.

Exercising or practicing parental authority without being authoritarian is commonly the best way to release the pressure from the parent-child relationship; Parental pressure is an emotional stress parents impose upon their kids and is normally related to academic performance, appearance, romantic relationships, and friendships.

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Kids can experience constant anxiety

A study entitled Academic Stress and Adolescents Mental Health: A Multilevel Structural Equation Modeling (MSEM) Study in Northwest Iran determined that pressure imposed by family members specifically parents can be the most impactful form of stress on teenagers' mental health.

There are two forms of parental pressure which are direct and indirect pressure. Direct pressure involves yelling, force, and complaining. Whereas, indirect pressure involves guilt-tripping and reminding them of rigid expectations.

According to a 2015 study entitled Longitudinal Links between Fathers' and Mothers' Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents' Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms says that kids who grow up with parents who yelled and verbally humiliated them may have a higher chance of experiencing mental health issues as well as trouble maintaining relationships. Young ones who feel like they are under constant pressure can experience constant anxiety.

What parents can do to avoid giving pressure on kids?

A 2022 study entitled The Role of Paternal Parenting and Co-parenting Quality in Children's Academic Self-Efficacy determined that parental pressure eventually leads to poor performance of children particularly when parents guilt-tripped kids.

Moreover, kids who have authoritarian parents worked less hard in school and displayed less resilience when they failed either a test or class says the 2022 study entitled Authoritative Parenting Stimulates Academic Achievement, Also Partly Via Self-Efficacy and Intention Towards Getting Good Grades; Daniel Wong added that children fee studying does not help them in any ways due to parental pressure.

Very Well Family suggests parents encourage children to do their best and help them focus on the process instead of the outcome or result without actually putting too much pressure on them. Thus, if you find yourself putting too much pressure on your child, try asking yourself why their academic performance as well as their test score truly matters to you. Moreover, parents should know how to set aside their own emotions to make room for their children to express theirs as providing them space to be seen and heard will encourage them without feeling any pressure.

This is to prevent kids from feeling anxiety and other mental health issues considering that pushing kids too far causes them to retreat inward, per Child Mind.

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