Teaching Children Etiquette May Be Challenging But a Worthwhile Effort

etiquette Pier Forni Manners Siggie Cohen Ph.D Arthur Lavin M.D. American Academy of Pediatrics AAP

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Nov 02, 10:24 am

Pier Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore who has written books about manners told The Washington Post that good manners display a way of being caring to others and also make it easier for almost everyone to feel comfortable in social situations. Thus, think of manners as traffic lights for life. Moreover, having good manners will educate kids to respect others and will help others respect them.

For instance, saying thank displays appreciation while saying please shows thoughtfulness. In addition, manners show gratitude instead of entitlement which can speak wonders about a kid's personality or behavior. Parents, on the other hand, need to have manners and etiquette for them to have good social skills in order to succeed. Schools play a vital role in also teaching kids about manners and etiquette considering that if kids are not learning such basic skills at home, then the school needs to teach kids those. Otherwise, through subtle social signals, young ones without manners will eventually lose out and never know why.

Truthfully, instilling etiquette in your kids is challenging but surely a worthwhile effort. You might think well-mannered children are born rather than raised or that your children will naturally pick those up from only watching those around them. However, while some kids easily understand and apply what they saw around them, it's still important to teach and reinforce important skills to your kids.

"Teaching good manners can be a little tricky"

As soon as your child began to form a few words herself, you can start teaching her the basic aspects of politeness like saying 'please' and "thank you." So, when they reach three or four years old, your child probably understands that he is expected to treat others in a very polite way.

Manners and etiquette in kids increase their confidence as practicing good manners makes one more confident and also increases awareness of your surroundings. Well-mannered kids act as a magnet and draw people towards you. Kids who are respectful and courteous will be immediately noticed by teachers and other parents which can eventually build their self-esteem and independence.

Siggie Cohen, Ph.D., a child and family therapist in Los Angeles, California told Very Well Family that "teaching good manners can be a little tricky." Especially if your child's friends are not doing the same thing, your child can be hard to convince to follow even the basic etiquette. Dr. Cohen suggests parents to mixed direct instructions and reinforces expectations with both praise and consequences.

Manners are not just a formality as they really matter

Dr. Cohen added that in order for parents to teach children manners, they need to focus and settle on which ones they want to teach considering the fact that almost every family will come up with their own certain standards for the manners they expect of their kids. However, there are some manners that many families including parents agree upon such as saying sorry when committing a mistake or admitting one's fault.

Moreover, manners and etiquette may include asking before touching other's personal things or being patient and waiting for their own turn, as well as being empathetic and inclusive. You can also teach them to use inside voices to help them keep calm when upset or when negotiating conflicts.

Arthur Lavin, M.D., Full Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics or FAAP, a pediatrician at Akron Children's Hospital in Beachwood, Ohio, and a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics or AAP says that the main key in educating kids etiquette is to fully understand that it's a behavior you want to see in your child. Thus, as a parent, one of your main responsibility is setting up behavioral expectations for your children by teaching them what to do and not to do.

Steadfast Academy says that regardless of the race, gender, or nationality of an individual, as well the age, both manners and etiquette are appreciated and recognized.