How to Cope With Your Child's Disability Diagnosis

Raising a child is one of the most challenging journeys you can take in life, and when you learn that your child is disabled, you'll probably feel overwhelmed and embark on waves of emotion. These feelings are normal, but sometimes a little encouragement can help you settle into your new life.

It may not be the life you dreamed of, but you will find your groove and rise to meet the challenge. You have no other choice. 

We'll break down some of the feelings you might experience so you don't feel so alone, give you tips to find support, and help you wade through insurance. It's probably going to be a much more central part of your life than you ever expected. 

There's health insurance to consider, life insurance to choose from, and potentially car insurance for wheelchair-adapted vehicles to find.

The Initial Rollercoaster of Emotions With a Disabled Child

Most people have a dream of what their life will look like. That dream often includes taking your kids to soccer practice, going on family hikes, and planning a wedding. It almost never includes spending months in the hospital, fighting for your child's rights at IEP meetings, or wondering if you'll ever hear your child say "mommy" or "daddy." 

It's OK Not to Be OK With a Disability Diagnosis

If you're struggling and angry, it's OK. If you're sad and lonely, it's OK. You don't have to be strong. You don't have to fix things. 

Over time, you will settle into life and enjoy your child in ways you would never have dreamed. Sure, it's exciting when a neurotypical child learns to walk, but you can never imagine the thrill you'll feel as your toddler gives every bit of themselves to push through to their next milestone. 

Those accomplishments are celebrated on the next level when your child has to work harder to do them.

Google Is Not Always Your Best Friend When Dealing With a Diagnosis

When you search for your child's diagnosis on the internet, you'll find some bad stuff. Sure, you'll also find some great resources, but the bad things will stick to your soul and terrify you as you think about them repeatedly. 

There will come a time for research, but listen to what your doctors say when you're in the early stages of dealing with your child's diagnosis. They're acquainted with your child and their unique situation. So while there may be possible complications you read about online, your doctor may know that your child isn't at increased risk for those complications. 

A Support System Will Keep You Grounded 

One of the worst things you may experience as a parent to a child with a disability is loneliness. You may feel like you had so much in common with your friends before. You shared so many experiences and dreams, and now, as they enjoy life with their average, typical kids, you feel disconnected.

It won't always be so hard. Someday, you'll be excited for your friend's kids when they accomplish something your child can't do and may never be able to do. But you need to give yourself time to get to that point. And if you feel lonely as you navigate a diagnosis, you're not alone.

Find Medical Support for Your Disabled Child

Your medical support team should be people you trust. It may include a pediatrician, therapists, psychologists, specialists, and alternative care providers. These people, especially therapists whom you see weekly, will become people you can turn to and trust. So choose good ones.

And if you don't like a health care provider or therapist, ask for a different one. This situation is not the time to feel bad about hurting feelings. You need professionals who are the right fit for your family, and not everyone is. 

To experience the full benefit of speech, occupational, and physical therapies, you need providers who connect with your child, and whom you can trust. 

Connect With Parents Who Have Experience Raising Kids With Disabilities

Parents of kids with similar struggles as yours will be one of the best remedies for loneliness. They'll be a reminder that you aren't really alone. Of course, it's nice to have support from parents treading the same water as you, but it's also beneficial to form friendships with parents who have gotten past the initial rollercoaster and found their normal. 

Those parents will give you hope for the joy you will experience. Because no matter how mild or severe your child's disability, you will most certainly experience joy. 

Seek Professional Help for Yourself

While waves of emotion are normal when dealing with the diagnosis of a disability in your child, sometimes you may need extra help. When you're in that position, the best thing you can do is seek a mental health provider or therapist. Finding the right therapist and getting the help you need can revolutionize your ability to care for your child. 

Insurance Can Both Create and Eliminate Stress

When all works out with insurance, it can eliminate financial stress. Not many people in the world could pay for their disabled child's treatments out of pocket, so insurance is essential.

But sometimes, getting the coverage you need is a challenge, and worrying about it will lead to stress.

Health Insurance for Kids With Disabilities

Your child can't be denied coverage because they have a disability, but insurance companies will try to eliminate extra costs. So, you can almost guarantee that you will have to fight with your insurance provider at some point.

No parent wants to have to take their child to therapy and specialists. It's not the kind of thing you would ever do if you didn't have to. So, it can feel infuriating when an insurance company determines your child's care isn't medically necessary or charges UCR fees. It's almost as if they're telling you that you're doing these things for the fun of it. 

When it comes time to fight, work together with your health care team. They can help you prove the necessity of the services. 

Life Insurance With a Disability

Some disabilities won't affect life insurance, but others will make your child uninsurable. If that's your case, your best option might be to add a child rider to your employer-sponsored policy, if available. 

Don't assume your child is uninsurable, though. You'll need to compare providers and see what available policies and exclusions apply.

Car Insurance for a Disability-Adapted Vehicle

If you have to retrofit a vehicle for a disability, it will cost money. For example, adapting a van to accommodate a wheelchair lift and harness could cost $30,000. When an insurance company assumes a greater risk of loss, they charge the consumer more in premiums. So, you can expect to pay more for insurance with an adaptive vehicle. 

If you want the customizations to be covered, you'll have to disclose that to the insurance company and determine if they'll provide coverage and how much more they'll charge. 

Life Will Get Better

You might not feel like you'll ever be happy, but you will. You might think you'll never feel normal, but you will. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or soon. You won't have to force it to happen. But one day, you'll think back to these early days and see how far you've come, how much you've learned, and how utterly amazing your child is. 

You can do this. 

Melanie Musson writes and researches for the car insurance site, CarInsuranceComparison.com. As a mom to a daughter with a disability, she's passionate about helping others navigate diagnosis and secure the insurance they need to protect their financial stability.