Raising Confident, Resilient Kids: Insights From a Child Psychologist on Responsive Parenting

As parents, we all want to raise confident and resilient kids who can face life's challenges with grace and strength.

But how do we go about achieving this? One of the most effective ways is through responsive parenting. In this article, we'll explore what responsive parenting is, how it works, and the benefits it offers.

Responsive parenting: Raising confident and resilient kids

According to Parenting for Brain, responsive parenting is a parenting approach that emphasizes empathy, respect, and attunement to your child's needs.

It's about understanding your child's behavior is communication, and responding with kindness and understanding rather than punishment or control.

When parents practice responsive parenting, they provide their children with a secure base to explore and learn about the world.

This secure attachment forms the foundation for confident and resilient children. One of the benefits of responsive parenting is that it helps children develop emotional regulation skills.

When children are upset or overwhelmed, they need someone to help them calm down and process their emotions.

Responsive parents provide this support through empathy and validation, helping their children feel seen and heard.

This validation helps children learn to regulate their emotions and respond to difficult situations with resilience. A strong sense of self is another benefit of responsive parenting for kids.

When parents respond to their children's needs with kindness and understanding, children learn they are valuable and worthy of love.

This sense of self-worth translates into confidence and resilience, as children are better able to navigate challenges and setbacks.

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How does responsive parenting work?

According to CNBC, Mona Delahooke, a child psychologist, challenges the assumption that kids act up for negative attention, to get something they want, or for no reason.

The child psychologist tells parents that children behave well when they can, and when they don't, there is usually a reason behind it.

This means that when a child behaves in a challenging way, it's because they are struggling with something.

Perhaps they feel overwhelmed or anxious or don't have the skills they need to navigate a situation.

When parents practice responsive parenting, they approach their child's behavior with curiosity and empathy, seeking to understand the underlying reasons for the behavior.

Delahooke's book, "Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids," offers strategies for responsive parenting.

One of the key strategies is to focus on building emotional regulation skills. When children have a strong foundation of emotional regulation, they can handle stress and adversity better.

Delahooke suggests parents help children identify and name their emotions to build emotional regulation skills.

This helps children recognize and regulate their emotions and communicate their needs to others. Parents can also help their children learn coping skills, such as deep breathing or visualization, to manage difficult emotions.

Furthermore, as per Michigan State University, another strategy for responsive parenting is to practice attunement.

When parents are attuned to their children, they can better provide them with the support and guidance to navigate difficult situations.

Attunement involves active listening, empathy, and validation. When your child is upset, take the time to listen to them and understand what they are feeling.

Validate their emotions by acknowledging their experience and showing empathy. This helps your child feel seen and heard and builds a stronger connection between you.

Finally, responsive parenting involves setting limits and boundaries with empathy and respect. When children know their parents are there to support and guide them, they can better accept limitations and boundaries.

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