Expert Insights with Sarah Slater Snyder: The Unconventional Solution for Busy Burned Out Moms Who Want a Luxury Escape to Paradise

By David Thompson , Parent Herald Apr 18, 12:27 pm

You asked for it, so we've reached out to mental health expert, Sarah Slater Snyder, to weigh in on the top 3 questions we get asked regarding self-care for busy moms. Sarah is a Licensed Therapist (LCSW) that specializes in working with teen girls and young adult women within her private therapy practice in Hawaii. With over 20 years of experience counseling, educating, and supporting children, teens, and families to achieve sustainable mental health and wellness, we knew she was the perfect expert to interview to help our community answer these commonly asked questions.

Let's get right to it, what is the biggest challenge you see busy moms facing today?

Sarah: Balance. Within my private therapy practice, I see the same pattern again and again with mamas who are struggling with clinical anxiety, depression, insomnia, self-esteem, body image, etc. What I realized is that most of these women share similar traits of perfectionism, codependency, people pleasing, difficulty with boundary setting, and often a history of trauma, all of which are rooted in nervous system dysregulation and limiting "not enough" beliefs. As a result, they all benefited from a more holistic approach to healing.

In your professional opinion, why are so many working mamas feeling burned out?

Sarah: Perfectionism and pressure to please others. The reality for so many women is that it doesn't matter how much we do or how well we do it, we are conditioned by society and constantly plagued with the same belief over and over again of not feeling enough. I hear from my clients all the time that they believe they are not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, not talented enough, not rich enough, not perfect enough, and the list goes on. This only leads them to overworking, over-committing, and over-giving rather than simply slowing down and recognizing that they are already enough by just being exactly who they are.

And this is why high performing women are wired to burnout and why so many women are daydreaming about a luxury escape to paradise. Our culture teaches us that happiness and success as a woman means doing it all, being it all, and juggling it all perfectly while putting everyone else's needs before ours. We become a "yes woman" to everyone and everything but ourselves, filling our day with more - more PTA meetings, more self-help books, more yoga classes, more acupuncture, more supplements, more spa days, etc.- searching for someone or something to transform us into zen supermamas but internally we feel like a stressed out, crispy, hot reactive mess. And so we (as women) tend to burn out, numb out, or opt out of living our best life because we are anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted and we don't know what else to do to achieve optimal health and wellness.

What do you think prevents so many mamas from achieving optimal health and wellness?

Sarah: We are stuck in fight and flight mode 24/7. Most women, especially busy mamas who are trying to do, be, and juggle it all, get stuck in autopilot survival mode while trying to fix the "problem" day after day with temporary bandaid solutions, like caffeine, alcohol, sex, shopping, social media scrolling, buying a fancy new car, home renovations, and planning luxury vacations to paradise. But these expensive and often mind numbing, addictive external solutions do not sustainably resolve our exhaustion or overwhelm and just keep us stuck in an autopilot cycle of exhausted reactivity because we keep trying to do more while telling ourselves "I'll be happy when..."

And this is why so many mamas burn out - we are carrying massive mental, emotional, and physical loads, which cause us to operate in fight or flight survival mode 24/7 (often unconsciously). When we walk around in this anxious state of nervous system dysregulation, we are perpetually unhappy, ungrounded, and not present in our lives because we're hyper focused on the false belief that happiness, perfection, and love exists outside of us. So we are constantly striving for external validation, which keeps us stuck in a cycle of emotional dysregulation, which is at the root of most mental health issues, like anxiety, insomnia, depression, PTSD, executive functioning challenges, low self-esteem, etc.

Our nervous systems have become dysregulated to the point that we literally can't calm ourselves down. So we over react and lose our marbles with our loved ones, when what we really want is to feel deeply connected to those we care about. But the problem is that so many mamas have lost their connection to themselves, which is why you may often feel like you're running on an empty tank. It's practically impossible to regulate your emotional responses when your tank is empty.

So tell us - what is the unconventional solution for busy burned out moms who want to stop feeling emotionally dysregulated?

Sarah: I'll sum it up in four words - The Embodied Paradise Method. Here's the deal - sustainable mental health and wellness is possible for all mamas!! The key is simply learning how to do less, not more. What this means is that you have to stop hustling and create pukas, which is the Hawaiian word for holes or pockets, of time and space to journey inward to reconnect to who you are at a deep core level. I call this Elite Embodiment - coming home to embody your highest, most authentic, juicy, divine, wise, rejuvenated, elite self.

It's just like peeling back the layers of a coconut. Imagine that you are that coconut - weighted down by these rough, hard, husky outer layers of stress - like the stress from your job, fighting with your partner, worrying about your kids succeeding in school, and in many cases, a history of trauma. But inside this coconut, just like inside of you, is a cool, smooth, refreshing, juicy, delicious, rejuvenated, elite version of you. At the end of the day, we all just want to show up as that best version of ourselves for our kids, our partner, our families, our colleagues, and ultimately, for ourselves.

But what most therapists never teach us is that paradise is not an external destination you save for...it's an embodied experience you create and carry within you. And while I am all for busy mamas enjoying life's little pleasures, we are kidding ourselves to believe that external sources of happiness will sustainably fulfill us.

The truth of the matter is that each of us holds the key to accessing our own inner sanctuary. And our inner paradise holds more tranquility, radiance, and sustainable fulfillment than any tropical vacation, and it's accessible to us always. We just have to learn how to turn our attention inward rather than outward to build a resilient adaptability to stress so that we can embody our own luxury paradise vibes and create a life we don't need an escape from.

Here's how the Embodied Paradise Method works:

First you create safety in the body through science-backed somatic soothing strategies that build expansive nervous system regulation so you can Create Your Own Personal Paradise, which triples your energy, motivation, and productivity in under 30 days.
Then you Consciously Reframe your anxious overthinking, perfectionism, people pleasing, and limiting codependent beliefs through my science-backed system to build massive confidence and self soothing skills. This allows you to set and hold unapologetic boundaries without guilt and shame so you can rewire your brain for long term happiness and success.
Finally, you tap into the brilliant core of who you are at a soul level through my Elite Embodiment practices so you can unlock your highest potential and experience greater fulfillment, joy, and purpose while embodying the luxury paradise you are longing (and working so hard) to vacation to without more hustle.

Ok, I'm sold. How do I sign up to learn your Embodied Paradise Method?

Sarah: Great question. I've taught hundreds of busy burned out mamas how to rewire their brain and body by optimizing sleep, stress, and health through my Embodied Paradise Method so they can create their own personal paradise anywhere anytime in a matter of weeks. And you too can experience a luxury escape to paradise without leaving your home, spending your savings, or spending years in therapy.

To learn more details about how my Embodied Paradise Method works, you can binge watch my FREE mini-series of short on-demand training sessions where I break down what therapy never taught you about overcoming anxiety and exhaustion for sustainable mental health and wellness.

If you know that you are ready now to dive deeper into your own holistic healing, you can schedule a 20 Minute FREE Holistic Health Audit with me so we can explore your individualized needs and desires to determine which level of support is best suited for you. You can also read more about my Intensive Embodiment Coaching Packages and my Signature Group Program that transforms busy, burned out supermamas into emotionally regulated powerhouses in under 90 days.

In my hybrid group program, you will learn:

Neuro hacks for stress management and sustainable mental health
Social emotional tools for empathy, healthy communication, and conflict resolution
Science-backed practices for self-compassion and elite embodiment
Transforming unhealthy patterns (like perfectionism, people pleasing, and codependence) into healthy unapologetic boundary setting, confidence, and radical self love
Strategies for mastering physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial health (with a special guest Financial Coach co-teaching the financial health module)

All clients in my program receive:

Lifetime access to my interactive, multi-sensory, easily digestible online videos
A weekly live group support call to build community, to hold space for authentic connection with other like minded supermamas, and to guide you in implementing these embodiment practices into your life
Membership to a private facebook group for daily mentorship, support, and sisterhood
My Digital Workbook and Radical Self Love Affirmation Cards made with aloha

Clients who opt for my high touch (Tier 3) level of this program also receive 3 60 minute one-on-one calls with me for individualized coaching and support, as well as access to a private group chat for daily group coaching and support. It's a little like having a therapist turned coach in your back pocket so you can receive support anytime anywhere.

You can check out my glowing client testimonials here and read more about this revolutionary group program on my coaching website. Payment plans are available, so please schedule your 20 Minute FREE Holistic Health Audit with me so we can explore your individualized needs and desires to determine which level of support is best suited for you.

What a progressive approach to expanding access to mental health education! For those who may not know, can you clarify the difference between therapy and coaching?

Sarah: Absolutely. Coaching is generally more present and future oriented, proactive and preventative rather than reactive, and there is no diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders within my coaching practice. Therapy, on the other hand, is typically more past oriented, more reactive to support clients in crisis, and it diagnoses and treats mental disorders. You can learn more about the differences and similarities between coaching and therapy here.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone with whatever challenges you are experiencing. My innovative coaching practice, which serves as a complement (rather than a supplement) to therapy, is an unconventional and revolutionary solution for busy, burned-out mamas, like you, who are longing for a luxury escape to paradise without more hustle. Truly, building a resilient adaptability to stress is possible through nervous system optimization. And once we train your brain and body to work smarter not harder through my Embodied Paradise Method, you will finally create internal and external balance so that your life feels like an endless luxury escape to paradise without leaving your home, spending your savings, or sacrificing yourself in the process of embodying the elite within you.

About Sarah: Sarah Slater Snyder is a Licensed Therapist (LCSW) and Yoga Teacher (RYT-200 Hour) turned Elite Embodiment Coach in Hawaii. Sarah is on a mission to support women's mental health and wellness on a global scale through her abounding women's circles, including her Women's Wellness Circle Facebook Group, Mental Health Bookclub, and Signature Group Program in Emotional Regulation.

Since the start of the pandemic, Sarah's therapy practice has been full with a waitlist due to the therapist shortage amidst the current mental health crisis. After spending the past five years helping hundreds of clients within her practice, she realized that her years of training as a therapist combined with her years of training as a yoga teacher allowed her to bridge a unique gap between the worlds of psychological and physiological health through nervous system optimization.

In order to support the mental health and wellness of more women, Sarah took her training global and developed an innovative coaching practice, which brings together neuroscience, psychology, and yoga to transform busy, burned out mamas from reactive to regulated in under 30 days so they can operate at peak performance and embody the elite version of themselves as a parent, partner, and professional without numbing out, burning out, or spending years in therapy.