10 Gentle Approaches That Work for Nurturing a Strong-Willed Child (Even When It's Hard)

By Telita Montales , Parent Herald May 23, 10:45 am

Raising a child who is stubborn can present difficulties and cause frustration for parents. You may overcome these difficulties and develop a positive connection with your child by putting into practice practical solutions and learning more about your child's behavior. This article intends to teach readers about obstinate kids, including their traits and the psychology that underlies their actions. Additionally, practical tips will be shared to help deal with their stubbornness.

Characteristics of a Stubborn Child

Not every child who exercises free will is stubborn. It's important to differentiate between stubbornness and determination. While determined children are highly intelligent and creative, stubborn children stick to their opinions and resist listening to others. Here are some characteristics that stubborn children may display:

Strong need for acknowledgment and attention: Stubborn children seek attention and want to be heard.
Fiercely independent: They have a strong desire to do things their own way and may resist assistance or guidance.
Committed to their own preferences: Stubborn children are determined to follow their own choices and may resist any attempts to change their minds.
Frequent tantrums: While all children throw tantrums, stubborn children may do so more often as a way to express their strong opinions.
Strong leadership qualities: Stubborn children may exhibit bossy behavior and want to be in control.
Desire to do things at their own pace: They prefer to do things on their own schedule and may resist following instructions or rules.

According to Mom Junction, it's essential to differentiate between determination and stubbornness when dealing with a strong-willed child. While stubbornness entails a steadfast desire to behave in a specific manner despite outside pressure to do differently, determination is defined by a firmness of purpose. According to Vision Steen, both inherited and environmental factors may have an impact on children's stubbornness and brain development.

The reasons for a child's stubbornness or strong-willed behavior might range from their developmental stage to their temperament to their parenting style to stress and unmet needs. It's critical to consider these factors and modify your plan properly.

Tips to Deal With Stubborn Children

According to Montessori Parenting, because a stubborn chils constacntly feels the need to assert onself, dealing with them requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. Here are some practical tips that can help you manage their stubbornness more effectively:

Try to listen: Adopt a calm and practical approach to communication. Give your child an opportunity to express their opinions and concerns, and have an open conversation to understand their perspective.
Connect with them; don't force them: Rather than forcing your child into something, create a connection by showing genuine interest in their activities. When children feel connected and valued, they are more likely to cooperate.
Give them options: Instead of giving directives, offer your child choices. This gives them a sense of control and autonomy. However, ensure that the options are limited and age-appropriate to avoid overwhelming them.
Stay calm: Avoid getting into shouting matches or engaging in power struggles with your child. Stay calm and composed, as your child may mirror your behavior. Find ways to manage your own stress, such as through meditation or engaging in activities that help you relax.
Respect them: Respect your child's autonomy and opinions. Seek cooperation rather than insisting on adherence to directives. Have consistent rules and expectations for all children in the family.
Work with them: Change your approach to partnership rather than control. Use statements like "let's do this together" and engage your child in fun activities to achieve tasks. Partnering with your child can help them feel valued and motivated.
Negotiate: Sometimes, negotiation can be a valuable tool in dealing with stubbornness. Understand your child's concerns and try to find a middle ground that satisfies both of you. However, it's important to be considerate and practical in the negotiation process.
Create a congenial environment at home: Foster a positive and harmonious atmosphere at home. Children learn from their surroundings, so it's crucial to model healthy behaviors and resolve conflicts peacefully.
Understand the child's perspective: Put yourself in your child's shoes and try to understand their emotions and challenges. Empathize with them while staying firm on your expectations. Break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce stress and help them succeed.
Reinforce positive behavior: Instead of focusing on negative behavior, reinforce positive actions. Use strategies like the "Yes" game, where your child is encouraged to say "yes" to positive statements and choices. This reinforces a sense of being heard and appreciated.

Being patient, empathic, and adaptable are necessary while dealing with a stubborn child. These tactics may help you raise a strong-willed child and build a healthy parent-child bond. If you have serious concerns, see a child psychologist or mental health specialist. Parenting a stubborn kid takes work, but with the correct attitude, you can help them become confident, independent adults.