Mother's Decision to Bounce Baby on Airplane Ignites Polarizing Discussion: Who's Right?

By Lucia Paula , Parent Herald Sep 02, 01:44 am

In a world where almost every action is subject to scrutiny, especially when it comes to parenting, an Australian mom found herself at the center of an internet storm.
Aliza Carr, a midwife based in Sydney, shared a video on Instagram of herself bouncing her 4-month-old daughter, Zadie, near the emergency exit row of an airplane. The seemingly innocuous video sparked a heated debate, splitting public opinion and raising questions about public decorum, parenting styles, and the rights of other passengers.

Carr's Initial Post and the Instant Backlash

In her initial post, Carr sought solidarity with other parents who have faced the challenges of soothing a fussy infant during air travel. "If you've traveled with a little one, how did they go to sleep?" Carr asked, stating that for her daughter, "standing, bouncing, and aggressively swaying is the only way."

However, Carr was met with strong opposition. Some commenters argued that her actions were inconsiderate to those who had paid extra for seats in the exit row, while others went as far as to label her "selfish" for flying with a young baby. The majority of the critics also accused her of habituating her daughter to require movement in order to fall asleep.

On August 30, Carr took to Instagram once again, this time to address the tidal wave of criticism she had received. She expressed her disappointment that most of the backlash was from women, particularly mothers.
"At what point do you forget that you too birthed, bled, leaked, and lost yourself in the spiral of motherhood, just trying to do your best? It's beyond me," she lamented.

Carr also spoke out against the harmful effects of such online criticism, particularly on new and expecting parents. She highlighted how comments from online strangers can severely impact someone's choices, making them fearful of stepping out with their little ones.

The Expert's Take: What Does This Mean for Parenting and Public Opinion?

Catherine Newman, a noted etiquette expert, weighed in on the controversy. According to Newman, Carr's actions were entirely justified.
"Money doesn't buy you the privilege of not caring about other people," she said, emphasizing the need to defer to those in need of comfort and space, regardless of any extra fees paid for seats.

Newman also highlighted the inherent contradiction in the critics' arguments. Those who were angered by Carr's actions near the exit row would likely be the same individuals who complained if she didn't attempt to comfort her crying child, she noted.

The incident serves as a powerful reminder of the perpetual judgment parents, especially mothers, face in our society. It opens up broader discussions on public etiquette, the validity of differing parenting styles, and the struggle to balance personal needs with public expectations.

Carr summed up the ongoing conundrum well in her concluding remarks. She speculated on the backlash she would have faced if she had chosen to breastfeed her daughter while walking up and down the aisle, saying, "I can only imagine the comments if they saw me walking up and down the plane with my boob out breastfeeding my baby for 90% of the flight."

Thus, the debate surrounding Aliza Carr's viral moment underscores the never-ending scrutiny parents are subjected to, irrespective of the choices they make. It also serves as a cautionary tale about the power of public opinion, especially when amplified by social media, to influence individual choices in the intricate dance of parenting.