Introducing 'Teen-Ternity' Leave: Parents Embrace New Strategy to Guide High Schoolers Away from Trouble

By Lucia Paula , Parent Herald Dec 07, 09:05 pm

Photo: (Photo : Photo by Parker Gibbons on Unsplash)

In a novel approach to parenting, Amanda Craig, a 48-year-old family therapist from Darien, Conn., has adopted what is being termed "teen-ternity" leave. This concept involves parents, particularly mothers, reducing their work hours to support their teenagers through the challenges of high school life, including college preparation, peer pressure, and hormonal changes.

Amanda Craig's Story: Balancing Work and Teenage Parenting

Craig made the decision to end her workday at 3 p.m. because she wanted to be more available for her 14-year-old son, Owen, as he started high school. She found that Owen required more assistance in navigating the complex high school system, managing a more robust homework schedule, and balancing his extracurricular activities, including soccer and hockey games. This heightened involvement is not just about mentorship but also about keeping a close eye on her son's activities to prevent him from getting into trouble.

The trend of "teen-ternity" leave is gaining traction among parents who are increasingly aware of the emotional needs of their teenagers, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic. Psychologist Danielle Roeske notes that as anxiety levels in teenagers rise, parents feel the need to be more present and connected to their children.

Elizabeth Wells, a Greenwich-based freelance writer/editor and mother of three, including a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old, chose to continue working from home to maintain close supervision over her children. She observes that her older children require her attention just as much, if not more, than her younger children. Wells emphasizes the importance of being available for open communication, sharing an instance where her 16-year-old son confided in her about peer pressure involving alcohol at school.

However, this increased parental involvement is not without its criticisms. Some experts warn that "teen-ternity" leave could potentially lead to over-involved, "helicopter" parenting styles, which might hinder the healthy development of teenagers. Roeske cautions that, while the intention behind such a decision is to support the child, it could inadvertently become more detrimental than beneficial.

Finding the Right Balance: Avoiding the Pitfalls of 'Helicopter' Parenting

Despite these concerns, parents like Craig believe they have struck the right balance. Craig asserts that her reduced work hours are not about micromanaging her son's life but about being available and supportive. She emphasizes that her approach is not about doing his work for him or enforcing strict homework schedules, but rather about being present and available for guidance.

This trend of "teen-ternity" leave reflects a shift in parenting styles, where parents are increasingly prioritizing their presence in their teenagers' lives. It highlights the evolving challenges that teenagers face today, including the increased pressure from social media, academic expectations, and peer interactions. As the teenage years become more complex, parents like Craig and Wells are adapting their lifestyles to provide the necessary support and guidance for their children.

While the concept of "teen-ternity" leave is still emerging, it raises important questions about the balance between supportive parenting and allowing teenagers the space to grow and learn independently. As families navigate these challenges, the focus remains on fostering open communication, understanding, and a supportive environment for teenagers to thrive.