How Learning Internal Motivation Can Help Set Kids Up for Success as Adults

Children are sponges. They absorb everything, especially in their earliest years. Monkey see monkey do is the rule to follow when raising young kids; setting a good example is the best way to foster good habits. In recent years, we've seen this in the rise of "gentle parenting," a modern departure from traditional parenting methods that teach children respect, emotional regulation, kindness, critical thinking, and healthy mental habits through calm and rational communication.

Kids learn everything best by doing or witnessing it. We have the most neuroplasticity when we are children. Through social interaction, they gain an early introduction to networking best practices; through play, they gain an interest in physical exercise; through making a mess, they learn about creativity. How do we go about teaching our kids internal motivation, though?

What is "Internal Motivation?"

Let's examine the act of reading a novel. Yes, it's entertaining, and you'll probably learn a new word or two, but it gives no form of external benefit. Reading a novel doesn't make you money; it doesn't pay rent, it doesn't stave off hunger or thirst, or heal physical illness. So why do it?

Internal Motivation is the motivation to do things that earn people no external profit or benefit. The reward gained from the accomplishment of the task is an internal one: a sense of pride, emotional regulation, a feeling of achievement, or a deeper understanding of interest, for example.

This form of motivation is essential to life, as it allows us to generate interest in the day-to-day, and also, the tasks that we are internally motivated to do allow us access to calming activities that can expand our minds and derive more life satisfaction. It also fuels nearly all aspects of life, as it can be found in the pursuit of education, play, and work, as well as leisure activities.

So, how do we instill this trait in our kids?

Teaching Children Internal Motivation

Internal motivation is an important quality, and if it can be manifested, then that's great! But not all kids are as easy to teach as others. Some have learning difficulties, some are born neurodiverse, which can create adverse effects in a standardized education system, and sometimes kids just aren't interested in what we're trying to teach them.

Well, here are our chief tips for how to go about it.

Cultivate Your Child's Curiosity

We're not saying let them run wild with reckless abandon; what we are saying is to recognise moments to foster curiosity. Neil DeGrasse Tyson appeared on a podcast speaking about this, imploring parents not to worry about mess or a small loss of funds at the expense of a child's curiosity. Curiosity and the desire to explore become the internal motivation to seek knowledge, push boundaries, and develop theories and concepts that no one else will ever think of. There is no greater source of internal motivation than the satisfaction of one's curiosity, and there is so much in the world to be curious about.

Let your kids break cheap stuff, let them investigate harmless items, and explore their surroundings.

Praise

Has your kid just made a drawing? Have they made up a little song? Did they invent a game with their sibling or to play with you? 

Don't criticize these things, praise them. When your kid presents you with their latest artwork, make a fuss and hang it on the fridge. You've just created the spark in their mind—"I can get good at this, and it will make my family happy, which makes me happy." Before you know it, your kid is surrounded by coloured pencils and bits of paper, drawing their little hearts away and, in the process, developing a genuine love for that creative endeavor. Where they are initially motivated by external praise, they will eventually learn to do it for their love of the process, thus forming a healthy hobby. Not to mention planting the idea in their head that hard work pays off.

Teaching Accountability

Accountability is the ability to examine a situation and recognise the part you played in it. This has been a focus of the previously mentioned gentle parenting style, where parents communicate in clear terms to their children what they did wrong and the consequences of their actions and teach them, in practical ways, how to remedy the situation—or at least to apologize for it.

In this particular example, we see little children who aren't able to articulate their feelings around a situation and end up acting out. By the end of the video, the elder child apologizes for their behavior on their own accord.

Teaching accountability fosters internal motivation because it encourages a sense of continual growth and self-improvement. People who don't allow their egos to outweigh their better natures are more able to absorb and adapt to new knowledge and to take advice. Therefore, when we teach our kids to be accountable, we raise them not to believe they have all the answers. We raise humble, kind, and emotionally stable adults who have the constant desire to grow.

The Importance of Internal Motivation

Fostering internal motivation is one of the most important things we can do for our kids. The fact that we will be leaving the earth in the hands of our future generations means that we have a responsibility to cultivate a generation that is interested in the world around it. The desire to learn, the concept of an internal reward system, and the ability to grow as a person are critical personality traits that all branch off from internal motivation.