New child-safety guidance now puts boundaries at the center, especially body autonomy, "no unsafe secrets," and protecting privacy in a digital world.
Healthy boundaries are not "adult topics"; they are practical safety and relationship skills that children can practice in daily life at home, in school, and online.
When adults consistently respect a child's "no," children learn both how to protect themselves and how to treat other people with respect. Many experts also stress that teaching boundaries works best as many small conversations over time, not one big talk
1. My Body Belongs To Me
Children should learn early that they are in charge of their bodies and can choose what feels OK and what doesn't. Explain that body autonomy means they can decide about touch, and that adults should listen when they set a limit.
2. Ask First Before Touching
Teach kids to ask permission before hugging, tickling, or rough play, and model it by asking them first too. Make it normal to accept "no" without guilt trips, because consent is about respecting the answer, according to End Sexual Violence CT.
3. Private Parts are Private (and Words are Clear)
Use proper names for body parts, and teach that areas covered by a swimsuit are "private," meaning no one should touch or look without permission. Add the real-life exceptions: a caregiver helping with hygiene when they're little, or a doctor visit with a trusted adult present.
4. Affection is a Choice, not a Duty
Do not force children to hug or kiss relatives, because kids need practice saying "no" even to people they know. Offer safe alternatives (wave, high-five, fist bump) so they can be polite without giving unwanted touch.
5. "Stop" Ends the Game Immediately
During play like wrestling or tickling, teach that anyone can say "stop," and the other person must stop right away. Link this to respect: we don't keep going when someone says "no," even if we think it's funny, Parents Together said.
6. Privacy is Normal: Knock, Close Doors, and Ask
Teach bathroom and changing privacy, and practice knocking before entering closed doors as a family rule. Use simple scripts like "Is it OK if I come in?" to show that privacy applies to kids, too.
7. Everyone Gets Personal Space and Alone Time
Help your child name a spot they can use for calm and space when they feel overwhelmed. Teach the matching rule: when someone asks for space, we respect it and give them room.
8. No Unsafe Secrets; Tell a Trusted Adult
Teach "surprises are fun and temporary, but secrets about bodies or touch are not OK," and kids should share those with a trusted adult. Explain that safe adults do not ask kids to keep "body secrets," and it's always allowed to speak up.
9. If Something Feels Wrong: Say No, Leave, Tell, and Keep Telling
Give kids a short plan: say "no," move away, then tell a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult. Reinforce that if the first adult doesn't help, they should tell another adult until they are supported, as per Kids' Health.
10. Online Boundaries Protect Real-Life Safety
Teach kids to chat only with people they know, keep accounts private, block/report strangers, and tell a trusted adult if anything feels uncomfortable. Add a privacy rule: never share personal details (like address, school, or passwords) and talk often about online privacy and influence.
