Perfectionist Parenting: Why It is Not The Perfect Style of Parenting; Maladaptive Perfectionism And Its Psychological Impact On Kids

When you push your kids to work hard in school because you want to see an excellent scholastic performance and high grades, you might be doing them more harm than good. The consequence: their psychological well-being is extremely affected.

Such maladaptive perfectionism style of parenting is also labeled as helicopter or intrusive parenting, which is characterized by "manipulative" parental behaviors and "psychological control" as cited in a report on Tech Times.

Higher rates of anxiety as well as depression among young children are some of the unintended outcome of perfectionist parenting, this according to a research conducted by National University of Singapore. Ryan Hong, the study's lead researcher, asserts that young children of these 'perfectionist' parents become frightened in committing even the smallest mistake; and whenever they do commit mistakes, they end up blaming themselves for failing to reach their parents' hard achievable goals as cited on San Francisco Gate.

"Our findings indicate that in a society that emphasizes academic excellence... parents may set unrealistically high expectations on their children," Hong said in a statement. "As a result, a sizeable segment of children may become fearful of making mistakes. Also... they can become disinclined to admit failures and inadequacies and seek help when needed," he added.

The said research was conducted for a duration of five years with 300 respondents who were composed of children seven-years old when the study commenced. Researchers then checked on them when they turned eight, nine and eleven years old. In assessing the degree of perfectionist parenting, the research team required the families to play a game, and instructed the parents that they could give their children a hand as they saw it necessary. Those parents who decided to take over the game and changed their child's move were deemed "highly intrusive".

The study revealed 60% of the children had parents who were highly intrusive, showing high self-criticalness; while 78% of these children had parents with high socially prescribed perfectionism. Almost 60% of the children had parents with "maladaptive perfectionism."

Regardless of the study's data, one could only assume the tremendous psychological effects of perfectionist parenting among kids. If you have this kind of parenting style, it's time to loosen the belt a little bit.